Salad Days

Youth.

First used by Shakespeare in Anthony and Cleopatra: "...in my salad days, when I was green in judgement..."

Get it? It's a fucking pun. Ha Ha! Salad is green, and in my 'salad days' I was green. Get it?

Man, that Shakespeare is right up their with Richard Pryor and George Carlin.

Fuking British and their fucking puns. Give it a fucking rest!

Anyway, I might not have the quotation exactly correct, but the point is that the phrase has nothing to do with 'hardships' or 'comfortable living.'

It refers to inexperience and innocence, not carefree existance.
Man 1: In my salad days, I wanted to grow up to be a male ballerina.

Man 2: Did you go to Princeton?
by BcozTheNite August 24, 2008
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Stupid question

Asshat question posed by a fucktard.

There are no stupid questions. There are only stupid people who ask questions.
Woman: I have a stupid question...

Man: No kidding.

Woman: Can I buy this blouse as a separate from this skirt?

Man: I don't work here.
by BcozTheNite March 26, 2008
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urban blight

A special type of urban decay that occurs inside the Urban Dictionary.

It describes lame definitions that:

1. break one or more of the editiorial guidelines, and

2. are only submitted because the author wants to claim credit for a lot of definitions in the Urban Dictionary, and

3. aren't funny or interesting.
All definitions submitted by the Who-obsessed moron named Taxman are nothing but urban blight. He should be banished from the Urban Dictionary.

For God's sake, nobody needs to 'define' every fucking album ever produced by The Who.
by BcozTheNite March 31, 2008
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One-Armed Scissor

It's a good thing we have nationalized health care because I did four one-armed scissors last night, eh?
by BcozTheNite November 13, 2007
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Dead air

1. An uncomfortable period of awkward silence that usually occurs in a tense social setting;

2. A period of time during which a television show is broadcast without an audio portion.
Man 1: How was the blind date?

Man 2: OK, but we ran out of things to say while we were at the bar. When we sat down for dinner, neither one of us could think of a thing to say. It was 100% dead air for about five minutes.

Man 1: So you didn't get laid?

Man 2: Asshat.
by BcozTheNite March 27, 2008
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Crispy hippie

A hippie that has been tasered into submission.
Hippie 1: I said "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?" Then he tased me. When I regained consciousness I was in the gladiator pen at the LA County lockup with a yellow post-it note on my chest that said 'Crispy Hippie.'

Hippie 2: Let's go have a big bowl of crunchy granola.
by BcozTheNite March 28, 2008
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1. Slogan of the teen abstinence movement;

2. Slogan of the teen abstinence movement that was funny the first 1,000,000 times it appeared on a tee shirt.
Man 1: Your tee shirt says "I gave my word to stop at third."

Man 2: Pretty funny, huh?

Man 1: Please kill me.
by BcozTheNite March 27, 2008
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