Aunt Tifa Lockhart's definitions

Republican

1. Someone who opposes monarchy (usual, historic definition)
2. In the modern United States, someone who vigorously strives to bring monarchy back

1. The republicans deposed the tyrant and instituted a republic.
2. The Republicans demand that Donald Trump and his children be allowed to rule forever as a royal dynasty, the will of the people be damned.

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart December 8, 2020

year of the Jewish Republican

The fabled year when Jews are going to abandon the Democratic Party for the Republican Party.

Like the year of the Linux desktop, it never comes, but belief in its imminence is enough to satisfy cultists.

2004: the year of the Jewish Republican

2008: the year of the Jewish Republican

2012: the year of the Jewish Republican

2016: the year of the Jewish Republican

2020: the year of the Jewish Republican

2024: the year of the Jewish Republican

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart November 16, 2020

Trumpalumpa

A species of hominid (Filius putae) known for its orange skin, short temper, and poor executive function. Unlike in many other hominids, the "alpha" Trumpalumpa is generally a figurehead who lacks the ability to control subordinates, who generally roam free to do whatever seems best for them.

"Oh my god, what the hell is that?"
"Don't worry; it's just a Trumpalumpa. It likes to pound its chest a lot but it is incapable of personally doing anything."

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart September 10, 2018

blanchard

Of a scientist, to attempt to revive their discredited work by latching onto conspiracy theories instead of gracefully bowing out and dying with dignity.

"Welp, looks like Ray's trying to blanchard his trans typology back into relevance."

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart September 10, 2018

silent majority

A word used by the loud, gerrymandered minority with entirely too much power to refer to themselves.

"WERRR THE SSILENT MAJORITY LIBS THESE COLORS DONT RUN EAGLE PATRIOT"
"ok"
"WATS MAD LIBS TRIGGERED OWNED THE LIBS JESUS CHRISTMAS WAR"
"be more silent"
"OMG ITS LITERALLY 1984 NAPOLEON SNOWFLAKE FARMER JOHN"

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart November 21, 2020

but Hunter Biden's emails

The wingnut response to any attempt to bring up Trump's four-year war on the American people. Basically "but her emails" except dumber.

"Donald Trump, the failson of a millionaire, has been doing everything he can to actively sabotage and steal the election for himself and the many members of his family who serve in his administration"

"but Hunter Biden's emails"

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart October 30, 2020

assmnuch

A mediocre white man who constantly interrupts a much more qualified female lawyer to explain the law to her.

That assmnuch really thinks being a white man makes him entitled to rewrite the entire law

by Aunt Tifa Lockhart December 3, 2020