Andy1's definitions

union

an association that uses thuggery, hooliganism, bribery and blackmail to get the wage level raised above its true value for lazy workers

those dumb union workers at the printers drove all the print shops out of business and then had no jobs at all

by andy1 September 25, 2004

pope penis tester

In the olden days a woman tried to sneak in as pope; therefore for years, every time there was a new pope, they had a "pope penis tester" check to see if it was really a male. An assistant lifted up the robe, and when the pope penis tester saw the balls, he would proclaim in Latin "They are there" and the pope candidate was allowed to become pope

The job of the "pope penis tester" went out several centuries ago

by andy1 April 19, 2005

douche a girl

parody of a famous song by gene chandler "duke of earl"

douche, douche, douche; douche a girl, douche, douche; douche a girl, douche, douche; douche a girl ,douche, douche...............

by andy1 November 15, 2004

Penisoil

One of the early brands of motor oil, also known as Pennzoil, from Penisylvania

Bill, did you want 10W40 or 20W50 weight Penisoil in your car?

by andy1 April 12, 2007

40 Highway

U.S. Highway 40.

For some reason Missourians (Who mostly also pronounce Missouri wrong) say 40 Highway for Highway 40. They also do this for the other numbered state and U.S. highways, e.g., 71 Highway, 50 Highway, 7 Highway, etc. I have no idea why they do this, and I have come across no other group who does this.

by andy1 December 3, 2010

cuntaloupe

Slang term for one of the best tasting melons.

Thirty years ago my cousin Jim was about 18 and he came home about 4 in the morning, and he was kind of drunk, and his Dad was standing there in the kitchen and Jim said, "Dad, do we have any cuntaloupe?" and his Dad said, "Jim, you've been hanging around Andy too much"

by andy1 June 11, 2005

murphy's law

Commonly, a situation where, if anything can go wrong, it will, but I wanted to add my examples.

You always get your blackjack one or two hands after you lower your bet.

If you take the phone with you outside, say to garden, it will never ring, but if you leave it inside there will be several messages on your voicemail.

by andy1 August 10, 2005