wind chime

During sexual intercourse between a man and a women. The man will enter the girl from behind doggystyle and then lube up a small wooden or metal flute or whistle or possible combination thereof depending upon the size of the orifice. The male will then begin gradually going deeper and deeper into her vagina causing her colon to relax and forcing excess air through the flute or whistle to create a beautiful symphony of music to accompany her moans of pleasure.

Bob: So I was hanging out at this uppity piano bar last night talking to this real looker who just seemed like she was dying to get a cock in her. Turns out she just graduated from college and was really depressed because she'd never play in the orchestra again. Anyway, I told her I was a great conductor and took her back to her place where she let me jam her flute up her ass while riding her reverse cowgirl. Dude, her ass made the most beautiful wind chime I'd ever heard in my life. It definitely hit a high note when she came.

by Ambiguousgenitals January 26, 2021

sitting monk

A type of sexual position in which the male or lady-boy, basically whoever has the penis sits indian-style with his legs crossed over one another on the floor preferably on a comfortable and somewhat cushioned surface, such as a yoga mat, with his back against a wall or sturdy surface and his arms pressed against his sides in an upward manner while his hands are extended out to the side as if he's asking his partner for spare change. Then, the women will sit in his lap placing his penis into her vagina or anus, squatting into the gap created by the man's legs being crossed, with her knees bent and feet facing forward she will place her hands in his palms to use as leverage and begin sliding up and down on his cock (usually while chanting).

Chris: Hey man, I've got an extra ticket to the game tonight do you want to go with me?
Phillip: Sorry man, I can't tonight! Jenny and I are going to temple this evening.
Chris: Temple?!? I didn't know you two were Buddhists?!?

Phillip: Oh! We're not! Jenny bought this new kamasutra book the other day and tonight we're trying the sitting monk position. I suppose I'm supposed to be Buddha and she's going to worship my cock or something. Afterwards, I'm going to bless her with my holy water if you know what I mean???
Chris: Holy water??? That's Catholic not Buddhist!
Phillip: Whatever, I'm getting laid.

by Ambiguousgenitals January 27, 2021

harc

An individual who works in Human Resources either at your company or in general and who submits a "friend" request to you in order to connect via social media, i.e. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. but who really just wants to use the connection to gain complete access to your posts, photos, likes, etc. so they can judge your character and pass any information they seem to be "inappropriate"along to your superior and/or colleagues for the express purpose of blackballing you.

Johnny: Alright! I just received a friend request to connect with that hot cougar who we see at the cafeteria nearly everyday!
Jason: Who Janet?!? Dude she's a harc don't accept that invite!!! She works in HR!!! Do you want her to see that we went to naked sushi last Wednesday?!?
Johnny: Whoa!!! No way....denied! Thanks man that'd be a major mistake. Who wants to be friends with people in HR?!?

by Ambiguousgenitals January 29, 2021

Kenyan African Males Safari

A safari tour arranged by Kenyan tourist companies and aimed at European and American women in their mid-20s to mid-50s who have never seen or experienced the much talked about large black cock bestowed upon many Kenyan makes. The tour groups arrange for the ladies to visit Kenyan and meet with as many well-endowed makes as they desire or can fit inside their orifices.

Robert: Hey Dave! I have to take a rain check on the game this afternoon I have to take Susan to the airport as she booked a tour with her church group to go on a Kenyan African Males Safari.
Dave: Ok, but aren't those the trips that white women book so they can meet loads of African guys with enormous dicks who pound their meat wallet until it can't even hold a bowling ball anymore?!?
Robert: Ummm, no I think she going to help the locals with some construction projects or something. She mentioned something about needing to drill a deep well???
Dave: Ok, whatever.

by Ambiguousgenitals January 27, 2021

OSexual

A person whether it be male, female, or whatever who will only engage in sexual intercourse or activity when it takes place during an Orgy, usually involving a minimum of 5 distinct persons (animals not included).

Robert: Man, I spent three hours talking up Helen last night and buying her drinks thinking I was going to score, but wouldn't you know it she's an OSexual and wouldn't go back to my place unless there were two more couples going to join us.
Shawn: Shit! I wished you would have called me as I was out with the Mrs. and our neighbors Heather and Bill. They were both loaded up on Pino and cocaine and would have been down for anything...especially cleaning Helen's butthole.

by Ambiguousgenitals January 26, 2021

3rd and inches

The day before your girlfriend, mistress, step-sister, step-mom, teacher, babysitter, neighbor, best-friends mom, etc. goes on her period so you have to meet up for sex that night before her flow begins and you go into 4th down territory and have to punt til the following week.

Patrick: Hey, John, Peter, Matthew, Mark and I are going to check out the new bar that opened in campus town last week you down to join us?
Steve: Shit! Sorry man! Susy's on 3rd and inches tonight so I've got to meet up with her tonight before her pussy goes into dark territory and her signal goes out for the next week or so.
Patrick: Awww, no problem man...I totally understand. Play ball!

by Ambiguousgenitals January 26, 2021

Stonehenge

1. When a group composed of UK (British, Scottish, Welch) males stand in a circle and give each other a handjob to get their rocks off.

2. When members of British Parliament convene to have a debate regarding a topic extremely important to the British citizens, but are unable to come to any sensible agreement on anything and the public determines their convening was just merely to give the appearance that they care for their constituents, but in actuality they don't give a flying fuck and just wanted to gather together for a large circle jerk to cum all over the British populace.

John: Ringo, come join Paul, George, and I over here and complete our circle so we can start our Stonehenge.

News reporter: Members of British Parliament gathered today to discuss their strategy for Brexit, but were unable to agree upon anything, so it appears their meeting was just another Stonehenge.

by Ambiguousgenitals January 29, 2021