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Alfie the Horndog's definitions

homophobe

Someone who wears an asgard to protect their virgin cheeks.
Although Thor insisted he wasn't a homophobe, he never failed to wear his asgard during battle.
by Alfie The Horndog March 24, 2007
mugGet the homophobemug.

Captain Kirk smirk

A look of self-satisfaction after just defeating your nemesis. Named after the legendary Captain Kirk.
Me: Everything I tell you is a lie. Now listen carefully.. I'm lying right now...

My last Date (who looks like she could have been a Stepford Wife): Error! Error! Does not compute.

I leave with a big captain kirk smirk as my date, who was acting like a total fucktard by not wanting to have casual sex with me starts emitting sparks and smoke from every orifice in her body.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
mugGet the Captain Kirk smirkmug.

carpod

An iPod you keep in your car, most likely attached to an iPod enabled car stereo.

It is only removed from the car in order to add or edit music, videos and the like.
I hooked up my old iPod Video to my Dual car stereo deck 6 months ago and haven't had to remove it yet. It's now officially my carpod.
by Alfie The Horndog April 5, 2009
mugGet the carpodmug.

squeezebox

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
mugGet the squeezeboxmug.

Hunt and Peck

Name of the innovative team that came up with the qwerty keyboard layout to slow down typists to prevent old mechanical typewriters from jamming.

Masters at inventing ways to slow people down, Hunt went on to inventing a catsup that pours more slowly and Peck went on to inventing a method of eating that made it take four times as long to eat your meal.
Nobody will IM with me because I hunt and peck.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
mugGet the Hunt and Peckmug.

oxygen

Gas which animals need to survive and is produced by plant life.

Tree-hugging hippies would like you to believe that 90% of the oxygen in the world is produced by trees and if we lost all the trees, we're dead.

But the truth is trees only supply about 6% of the oxygen... the vast majority comes from algae in the ocean.
Love is like oxygen. You get too much it gets you high. Not enough and you're gonna die. Love'll get you high.

-Sweet
by Alfie The Horndog April 23, 2008
mugGet the oxygenmug.

stocky

Confusing adjective because there are multiple definitions in different dictionaries...

1) Big man with broad shoulders.
2) Short round man.
Girl #1: I went out with this tall guy last night, he said he was stocky in his emails, but he was short and round.
Girl #2: Oh... then he was stocky.
by Alfie The Horndog September 22, 2005
mugGet the stockymug.

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