Definitions by Alfie The Horndog

Evelyn Wood 

A woman who developed a method for speed reading. Also used as a reference to her popular training method.

The Evelyn Wood speed reading method is a way of reading whole paragraphs at a time, filtering out common words and only look at uncommon words. By only looking at the uncommon words, you get the jist of each paragraph without actually having to read every single word in it.

Oh great! I was just glancing at a review for the movie we were going to see tonight and my Evelyn Wood training kicked in and now it's spoiled for me. So... why don't we just stay in bed instead?

Evelyn Wood by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006

squeezebox 

Slang for accordian and vagina.

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!

squeezebox by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006

hero 

Defined in the movie Serenity:

A hero is someone who gets a lot of OTHER people killed.

Billy, don't be a hero.

hero by Alfie The Horndog December 27, 2005

ernie 

Homosexual lover? Gimme a break! They're PUPPETS people!

Ernie is a *puppet* - without genitalia!

ernie by Alfie The Horndog December 9, 2005

Veronica

Full name: Veronica Lodge. In the popular Archie comics, Betty's arch nemesis for Archie's affections.

Also refers to a any prude who's idea of passion is a friendly hug.

Archie always liked Betty better because Veronica was always such a Veronica.

Veronica by Alfie The Horndog November 30, 2005

Fantabulous 

Sort of like "fabulous" but much more fabulous than the word "fabulous" can convey. Like supercalifragilisticexpialidocius but shorter and easier to spell.

While on a free trip to Italy I won a free titanium frame bicycle and the customs agent let me bring it on the plane for free. What a Fantabulous trip!

Fantabulous by Alfie The Horndog November 29, 2005

Michael Moore

A filmmaker who is the absoute master at making gullible people think the way he does.

Brainless Chump: Did you see that movie about George Bush by Michael Moore? Did you know that George Bush was personally responsible for 911. You better vote Democrat.

Me: Uh, you know those same terrorists tried to blow up the World Trade Center during the Clinton administration right? And that Clinton did absolutely nothing about it?

Michael Moore by Alfie The Horndog October 17, 2005