Ae5Ea8's definitions

matulence

A combination of "flatulence" and "mat:" A farting sound on a sweaty mat caused by the curve of your lower back pushing the air out when you do a quick sit up. This can occur most often when your towel is soaked with sweat, as often occurs during the sit up in Bikram Yoga.

Pardon my matulence, ma'am. That wasn't the beans below.

by Ae5Ea8 February 17, 2015

Tub

A $20 bill. Often used in the plural. Derives from the abolitionist Harriet Tubman, whose image will succeed Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

Flea Market Patron: How many Tubs is that antique back scratcher?
Flea Market Vendor: Five Tubs, and not a Tub less.

by Ae5Ea8 May 22, 2016

selfie stick

1. a selfie stick
2. slang for one's own johnson

The Louvre has banned the selfie stick.

by Ae5Ea8 March 31, 2015

Order of the Queef

An award given to the top 10% of vaginal farts. See also Order of the Coif.

I graduated Order of the Queef and now I get to work fourteen hour days, including Saturdays and Sundays.

by Ae5Ea8 November 27, 2016

braux pas

The rare awkward moment between two male acquaintances or friends when the parting gesture (handshake, fist bump, or bro hug) gets fumbled. This occurs most often either when one goes in for a bro hug and the other wants to shake hands, or when one goes for the traditional handshake and the other goes for some version of the urban handshake. The awkwardness usually lingers until your next parting, at which time you both slightly overcompensate for the previous confusion by first, deciding what form your parting will take, and second, executing it with decidedly more gusto than usual.

We totally botched our handshake last time.
Tots, brah, that was as ugly a braux pas as you're gonna see.

This time, it's a handshake, OK?
Sounds good. I was feeling a little weird about it, too.

by Ae5Ea8 January 15, 2015

miller's paradox

Intense contractions caused by running faster to make it to the toilet in time. The paradox is that the faster you run, the faster you will get to the toilet — but also, the faster you run, the more imminent becomes the dropping of the deuce prior to making it to the toilet.

miller's paradox is related to Zeno's paradox in a way

by Ae5Ea8 September 24, 2016

senior soup

the cloudy pool water after a geriatric aqua aerobics class consisting of various paper products, human liquids and solids, and various other sundries and whatnots

senior soup for the soul -- it's good for you!

by Ae5Ea8 March 31, 2017