Clausemopolitan

Favorite cocktail of the Founding Fathers as they drafted the various clauses of the United States Constitution. Made with crushed elderberry and vodka. See also: The Washingtini.
"I'll drink to the new republic," said Benjamin Franklin as he slaked his thirst with a Clausemopolitan.
by Ae5Ea8 February 02, 2015
Get the Clausemopolitan mug.

schmucket list

A list of all the stupid things you've done in your life.
On my schmucket list: Walking around New York City wearing only a burlap sack while practicing circular breathing by blowing into a bottle of water through a straw.
by Ae5Ea8 May 02, 2015
Get the schmucket list mug.

cardar

Combination of "car" and "sonar" describing the act of finding your car in a large parking lot by repeatedly pressing the lock or unlock button on your keychain. Navigating your way around the parking lot by the relative increase or decrease in the loudness of the car beep is similar to the way that dolphins and bats use sound waves to navigate.
Without cardar I would still be walking around in a circle at Disney World.
by Ae5Ea8 March 10, 2015
Get the cardar mug.

incrapacity

elder abuse often involves undue influence and incrapacity
by Ae5Ea8 May 03, 2017
Get the incrapacity mug.

Russell Sprouts

Combination of "Brussel Sprouts" and "Russell." An affectionate term for the children of anybody with the first or last name of Russell.
How are the Russell Sprouts doing?

Great, Johnny is 5, and Suzy is 7 now.
by Ae5Ea8 March 18, 2015
Get the Russell Sprouts mug.

bananalibrium

Combination of "banana" and "equilibrium," describing the delicate art of adapting your consumption of a bunch of bananas to the slow but steady ripening process.

The first act of bananalibrium is buying the bananas. Too green: bad. Too yellow: bad.

You do buy the bananas when you can foresee a use of the bananas that is reasonably certain to occur in the next 10 days or so, before the bananas go bad.

Once the bananas are sitting on your kitchen counter, the next stage begins. To consume the entire bunch (usually 5 to seven bananas), you have to have a plan, and you have to stick to it. Otherwise, some of the bananas will go bad. And unless you make banana bread, the overripe bananas are too nasty to eat on their own.

So once the ripening process starts, you have to, maybe, eat a banana that is a little bit less ripe than you'd ideally like. Within a few days, however, you are in the sweet spot...the bananas are perfect. Then the brown spots start, and you have to up your game to remain on track. At a certain point, the bananas are a bit overripe, but you can still enjoy them. There is the point of no return when the bananas are just gone. Then it is a matter of avoiding having rotten food on your counter. It is a little bit sad throwing away rotten bananas. It feels wasteful. There is a hint of personal failure that might accompany throwing them away.
As Buddha was chomping on a banana, Mahākāśyapa noted, "Man...this dude's in perfect bananalibrium."
by Ae5Ea8 April 05, 2015
Get the bananalibrium mug.

kerfuffle butter

Combination of "truffle butter" and "kerfuffle," meaning any life situation in which shit is really messed up and in total disarray.
How's your job going, bro?

Dude, it's total kerfuffle butter right now at my job: Paychecks are late, the VP is thinking of quitting, someone just filed a lawsuit against the company, and customers are bailing by the boatloads.
by Ae5Ea8 April 07, 2015
Get the kerfuffle butter mug.