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Definitions by Ae5Ea8

Google Autonomous Vehicle

When a person is walking down the sidewalk looking down at their phone. There is no human in charge of the operation of their vehicle (i.e., their body).

A Google Autonomous Vehicle is usually watching the little blue dot to see which way on the map they are moving. Once the Google Autonomous Vehicle figures that out, they can reorient themselves in the right direction towards their destination.
I became a Google Autonomous Vehicle when I punched "tapas bar near me."

greyboxed 

The mind game some advertisers play with you when you arrive at a website and the screen greys out, except for the box in the middle. It asks you to choose something like getting a newsletter, mortgage quote, or weight loss program. The grey box disables you from escaping from the page. The "Escape" key does not work, and there is no "x" button to quit the page.

If you say "Yes," you will be taken to whatever the advertiser wants.

But the "No" option is where you get greyboxed. It says something unpleasant, disturbing, and ridiculous. You have a sense that you don't want to click on the "No" because it feels wrong somehow. For example, it might say "No, I don't want to eat healthier," "No, I don't want to lose weight," or "No, I don't want to save money."

This creates a split inside of your mind. You do not want to click on the statement because you don't believe that statement, but clicking the "No" phrase is the only way out. Clicking the "No" phrase feels kind of like thinking it, but to answer "Yes" would be giving in to the advertiser and getting unnecessarily drawn away from what you were looking for in the first place.
Greyboxed again. I feel unclean.
greyboxed by Ae5Ea8 January 19, 2016

shit list 

The short list of people you would feel comfortable talking to while simultaneously dropping a deuce.
I often ponder my shit list in the Starbucks bathroom.
shit list by Ae5Ea8 January 10, 2016

douchetag 

Saying or writing something marginally funny, but then making it just plain old douchey by prefacing it with a hashtag.
#realmenuseemoticons is a douchetag
douchetag by Ae5Ea8 November 19, 2015

Home Depotpourri 

The beguiling smell of a Home Depot. The strongest notes are fresh cut lumber, lawn fertilizer, and WD-40.
The ladies seem to dig it when I burn a candle scented with Home Depotpourri.
Home Depotpourri by Ae5Ea8 October 30, 2015

kettle my chettle 

OMG!, as in are you f*&^'ing kettling my chips? (derived from Kettle Chips being awesome potato chips, coming from "all that and a bag of chips")
Well kettle my chettle, Marge, I won the dang lottery!
kettle my chettle by Ae5Ea8 August 18, 2015

brotes mcgroats 

your friends. The term comes from "bro" and "mcgroats." mcgroats is a word that instantly makes anything 100 times cooler.
Husband: I'll be at the bachelor party from 9 until 11. See you soon, honey.
Wife: I don't believe a word of it. I know that you and your brotes mcgroats are doing to be doing some stupid s**t and staying out all night.
brotes mcgroats by Ae5Ea8 August 18, 2015