AKACroatalin's definitions

Navvy Gravvy

Unlike Itsy Bitsy and Teeny Weeny, Navvy Gravvy doesn't refer to just a small size but to a small amount. A navvy gravy is a very small amount, a little tiny bit, a very fine shaving. In common use within the Royal Dockyards where very small adjustments have to be made, by shipwrights and shipfitters, to customise components in order to get them to fit correctly. Thought to date from around the mid-nineteenth century when many tasks in shipbuilding were still carried out by 'eye', although the origins or the words themselves are not entirely clear, it is still in use today where non-standard sized items have to be adjusted to fit.
As an illustration; if a hole is drilled in a piece of metal to take a bolt, the hole is the correct size but the bolt doesn't fit. The drill is then run through the hole again and the bolt fits. Careful examination may reveal a few grains of metal dust or the tiniest finest curl of swarf removed by the drill, that tiny amount is a navvy gravvy.

"If we just take a navvy gravvy off that leading edge, it'll fit perfect."

by AKACroatalin April 19, 2015

Fartleberry

Although usually meaning a small piece of excrement attached to the hairs of your arse, sometimes known as a Clingon, it can also mean someone who is a minor, smelly, unpleasant nuisance that is sometimes difficult to get rid of.

"Malcolm is monopolising the vending machine again, no-one can get him to move."
"God! what a fartleberry!"

by AKACroatalin March 12, 2015

Clarke’s Third Law

Clarke’s Third Law is probably the best known and most widely cited of the three and states that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Just as an aside the others are:
1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

As far as that Malcolm is concerned just about any technology conforms to Clarke’s Third Law.

by AKACroatalin December 17, 2016

Did you know

Although phrased as the start of a question, it is actually an introduction from somebody who wants to impart information. It’s used quite a lot by some teachers but it usually comes from somebody who wants bore your arse off telling you things you don’t need to know, don’t want o know and which are less interesting than the sex lives of Venusian bacteria. It’s usually impossible to get away without committing murder unless you can comeback with something that stops them in their tracks and allows you to escape.

Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of “Happy Christmas” you get “Crappy Shitmash”?
Yes, and if you rearrange “Merry Christmas” you get “Mr Mrs Itchyarse”.

by AKACroatalin April 24, 2015

Brouhaha

Brouhaha (pronounced: /ˈbru hɑ hɑ / ) is a noun and means a noisy and overexcited response or reaction to something. It can be verbal or physical and can vary from two people in a noisy slanging match to mobs rampaging through city centres. It can also refer to the artificial pseudo-excitement generated by the media over something as monumentally boring as an election.

When Sue caught Malcolm stealing her sweets there was a right brouhaha

by AKACroatalin April 17, 2015

BVA

This is an acronym often used to describe hospital patients who are aggressive, unpleasant, repulsive, demanding, disgustingly rude or anything else that makes them a total pain in the arse. Believed to have originated in Los Angeles it stands for Breathing Valuable Air – says it all really.

Malcolm’s in A & E!
Is he going to peg out?
No, still BVA.

by AKACroatalin March 1, 2019

I don’t wanna, I don’t haveta, I ain’t gonna

Something really useful from the US. The only reply to be made to an acquaintance, or a co-worker you don’t like very much who makes ridiculous demands on your time and effort for no recompense.

“What did you say when Malcolm asked you to do his work while he sloped off to get freebies at the supermarket?”
“I don’t wanna, I don’t haveta, I ain’t gonna.”

by AKACroatalin September 5, 2016