4 definitions by A Swinger
Screws Up Volkswagens---->SUV
Should have been called SBOW- Security Blanket ON Wheels
1.)A large unnecessary pile of shit (no matter how much it costs)who's owners enjoy pissing away the worlds natural resources more than R. Kelly enjoys pissing on women. Their owners usually justify owning one for its ability to make them feel safe and to transport their large family consisting of 1 spoiled bratty ass child that will grow up to be an even bigger asshole than their parents. When in reality they just need to learn how to drive a normal size vehicle so they don't have to hide behind a tank. Basically its a suburban security blanket for morons.
2.) An ignorant useless automotive indulgence that has set the automotive industry back 20 years.
3.) What president Bush masturbates to photos of.
4.) The main reason why we will run out of oil one day.
5.) The main reason why the electric car concept was abandoned. See the film "who killed the electric car".
6.) What will most likely be the instrument of my death when im driving my 1959 VW Beetle down the interstate one day.
7.) Vehicles who's owners i will be laughing my ass off at when we run out of oil and they are reduced to nothing but large even more useless paperweights. I can always convert the bug to electricity.
8.) The reason why we need to put more fuel efficient and environmentally friendly bio diesel engines in large vehicles.
9.) The reason why people will not be able to drive and enjoy classic cars in the future. Because SUV's drank up all the gas.
10.) The only vehicle you see on the road if you live in Short Pump Virginia.
11.) The reason why people are afraid to drive compact cars. If they buy an SUV they cannot get hurt if another SUV runs into them.
Should have been called SBOW- Security Blanket ON Wheels
1.)A large unnecessary pile of shit (no matter how much it costs)who's owners enjoy pissing away the worlds natural resources more than R. Kelly enjoys pissing on women. Their owners usually justify owning one for its ability to make them feel safe and to transport their large family consisting of 1 spoiled bratty ass child that will grow up to be an even bigger asshole than their parents. When in reality they just need to learn how to drive a normal size vehicle so they don't have to hide behind a tank. Basically its a suburban security blanket for morons.
2.) An ignorant useless automotive indulgence that has set the automotive industry back 20 years.
3.) What president Bush masturbates to photos of.
4.) The main reason why we will run out of oil one day.
5.) The main reason why the electric car concept was abandoned. See the film "who killed the electric car".
6.) What will most likely be the instrument of my death when im driving my 1959 VW Beetle down the interstate one day.
7.) Vehicles who's owners i will be laughing my ass off at when we run out of oil and they are reduced to nothing but large even more useless paperweights. I can always convert the bug to electricity.
8.) The reason why we need to put more fuel efficient and environmentally friendly bio diesel engines in large vehicles.
9.) The reason why people will not be able to drive and enjoy classic cars in the future. Because SUV's drank up all the gas.
10.) The only vehicle you see on the road if you live in Short Pump Virginia.
11.) The reason why people are afraid to drive compact cars. If they buy an SUV they cannot get hurt if another SUV runs into them.
"Some selfish shit bag in an SUV ran over me while i was driving my bug down the interstate. Now im disabled and have to spend the rest of my life as a vegetable while their ass can walk around and enjoy their selfish little suburban lifestyle and live in their overpriced cookie cutter home. But thats my fault i guess. How stupid of me to be driving a fuel efficient compact car. If i was driving an SUV this wouldnt have happened."
by A Swinger October 26, 2007
A person that despises swingers. Usually this animosity is spawned from one being insecure, immature, or sexually inexperienced. Such individuals often hide behind the facade of a relationship that they are in. They see swingers as immoral or evil because they don't have a ball and chain attached to their partner. These individuals consider a normal relationship one where their partner spends all their time catering to their partners emotional problems and is under their total control at all times. They think 10 minutes of boring sex is amazing even though there partner usually just falls asleep half way into it. Often times these people can only have sex if they are drunk because they are too immature to handle sex sober and if they ever cheat on there partner they can just blame it on the alcohol. They want to know where their partner is 24/7 and go ape shit and throw a temper tantrum if their partner even talks to another person of the opposite sex. These prudes think Swingers are STD infested when the fact is because they more than likely will cheat with the first nasty person that comes along and not get tested and therefore are just as much or more at risk. Because after all STD tests are for dirty people not responsible ones.
Shawn- "Yo Dawg. Wheres your gurl?"
Dawg- "Yo i dunno! Been tryin to call her ass! Do ya know its been 5 minutes since i last talked to her?"
Shawn- "Yo Dawg that aint good!"
Dawg- "Yeah i know. That ho better check in with me at least 25 times a day and let me know where shes at! She better not be hangin out with anyone! Thats all i need is her thinkin she can go have fun and not be there for me to use as a doormat for all my problems. Next thing you know shes gonna be one of those swingers if i dont keep a tight leash on her! I aint havin that! Shes my property yo!"
Shawn- "Yeah Dawg! Call that bitch back!
Dawg- "Yeah if i find out shes been talking to another dude on the phone his ass is is gonna get banked cause im one swinger hater of a fool!"
Shawn- "Later Dawg i gotta go pleasure my gurl! I got my game on! Were gettin drunk and havin 10 minutes of hot sex tonight!"
Dawg- "Damn! Wish i could last that long! Later Yo!"
Dawg- "Yo i dunno! Been tryin to call her ass! Do ya know its been 5 minutes since i last talked to her?"
Shawn- "Yo Dawg that aint good!"
Dawg- "Yeah i know. That ho better check in with me at least 25 times a day and let me know where shes at! She better not be hangin out with anyone! Thats all i need is her thinkin she can go have fun and not be there for me to use as a doormat for all my problems. Next thing you know shes gonna be one of those swingers if i dont keep a tight leash on her! I aint havin that! Shes my property yo!"
Shawn- "Yeah Dawg! Call that bitch back!
Dawg- "Yeah if i find out shes been talking to another dude on the phone his ass is is gonna get banked cause im one swinger hater of a fool!"
Shawn- "Later Dawg i gotta go pleasure my gurl! I got my game on! Were gettin drunk and havin 10 minutes of hot sex tonight!"
Dawg- "Damn! Wish i could last that long! Later Yo!"
by A Swinger October 26, 2007
Security Blanket On Wheels
Commonly reffered to as an SUV. For the most part they are driven by shitheads that only care about themselves and could care less about the worlds natural resources. Designed years ago as a true off-road utility vehicle for use by individuals that actually worked hard for a living and needed a vehicle that could have truck like capability with room to haul heavy duty equipment. This vehicle has now been bastardized and mass produced to cater to suburban yuppie pricks that call hard work a 9-5 bankers job to pay the mortgage on their overpriced suburban home and their wifes fake body enhancements. Often their owners claim it makes life easier for them because they have a large family to haul around that consists of 1 bratty child that will more than likely grow up to be an even more inconsiderate prick than their parents. They are Also driven by asshole celebrities.
Commonly reffered to as an SUV. For the most part they are driven by shitheads that only care about themselves and could care less about the worlds natural resources. Designed years ago as a true off-road utility vehicle for use by individuals that actually worked hard for a living and needed a vehicle that could have truck like capability with room to haul heavy duty equipment. This vehicle has now been bastardized and mass produced to cater to suburban yuppie pricks that call hard work a 9-5 bankers job to pay the mortgage on their overpriced suburban home and their wifes fake body enhancements. Often their owners claim it makes life easier for them because they have a large family to haul around that consists of 1 bratty child that will more than likely grow up to be an even more inconsiderate prick than their parents. They are Also driven by asshole celebrities.
Cindy- "oh im just so glad my hubby bought me the new Juggernaut 5000 Super XXXXL SBOW edition! I feel so safe in it i dont even give turn signals or pay attention when im driving anymore. Not to mention its got a 75 foot long wheelbase and seating for 3 people."
Jane- "Oh Cindy thats fabulous! Now you will have room to haul your son little Jimmy to his after school "Future Assholes of America meeting."
Cindy- "Hold on some tree hugger in a stupid compact car is in my way! Let me run him off the road and ill call you back!"
Jane- "Ok Bye!"
Cindy- Honk! Honk! "Hey get your stupid ass compact out of my way looser! Cant you see im driving my SBOW and talking on my cellphone you inconsiderate prick!" Scrrrrrreeeeeeechhhh! Craaaaaaaaash! Baaaaaaaaaaang! Thump! Thump!
Average Joe Compact Driver- "ouuuch my neck. That crazy bitch just ran over me with her fucking SBOW!"
Cindy- "Oooopsy. Oh no what do i do? I know i'll push the on star button. They will solve all my problems!" Click!
On Star operator- "Hello this is On Star can i help you?"
Cindy- "oooh please help me! I just ran over a car what should i do?"
On Star Operator- "Mam its gonna be ok! Is the other driver moving?"
Cindy- "I dont know! What does that have to do with anything? I was just calling to make sure my SBOW is ok!"
On Star Operator- "Ok mam! Yes i just ran a diagnostic scan and the only apparent damage seems to be that you set a minor "compact car collision sensor" off. Let me enter a few key strokes and i will turn it back off.... Ok its turned off now. Oh and i will place a call to your lawyer and brief him on the possible lawsuit that person you ran over might be filing against you. That way you can get a head start on proving how negligent he was for driving silly little gas sipper."
Cindy- "Thank you sooo much! Its a good thing i have the best lawyer money can buy. He's so good he will tie the case up in court until that person i ran over cant afford to pay his legal fee's anymore and will just give up!"
Jane- "Oh Cindy thats fabulous! Now you will have room to haul your son little Jimmy to his after school "Future Assholes of America meeting."
Cindy- "Hold on some tree hugger in a stupid compact car is in my way! Let me run him off the road and ill call you back!"
Jane- "Ok Bye!"
Cindy- Honk! Honk! "Hey get your stupid ass compact out of my way looser! Cant you see im driving my SBOW and talking on my cellphone you inconsiderate prick!" Scrrrrrreeeeeeechhhh! Craaaaaaaaash! Baaaaaaaaaaang! Thump! Thump!
Average Joe Compact Driver- "ouuuch my neck. That crazy bitch just ran over me with her fucking SBOW!"
Cindy- "Oooopsy. Oh no what do i do? I know i'll push the on star button. They will solve all my problems!" Click!
On Star operator- "Hello this is On Star can i help you?"
Cindy- "oooh please help me! I just ran over a car what should i do?"
On Star Operator- "Mam its gonna be ok! Is the other driver moving?"
Cindy- "I dont know! What does that have to do with anything? I was just calling to make sure my SBOW is ok!"
On Star Operator- "Ok mam! Yes i just ran a diagnostic scan and the only apparent damage seems to be that you set a minor "compact car collision sensor" off. Let me enter a few key strokes and i will turn it back off.... Ok its turned off now. Oh and i will place a call to your lawyer and brief him on the possible lawsuit that person you ran over might be filing against you. That way you can get a head start on proving how negligent he was for driving silly little gas sipper."
Cindy- "Thank you sooo much! Its a good thing i have the best lawyer money can buy. He's so good he will tie the case up in court until that person i ran over cant afford to pay his legal fee's anymore and will just give up!"
by A Swinger October 26, 2007
noun. 1.) A male that brings one or more female companions to a dance club but refuses to dance with them. This individual has no interest in dancing but would rather drink and threaten anyone who talks to or asks their companions to dance. See asshole or swinger hater *Note females can be guilty of this behavior although it is very rare.
2.) An individual that takes up room on the dance floor of a club to drink, bullshit, and argue with their date. Not to dance.
3.) An individual in a club that gets highly irate if you bump into them or step on their shoes. Even if the club is packed they expect to have a 50ft buffer zone around them.
2.) An individual that takes up room on the dance floor of a club to drink, bullshit, and argue with their date. Not to dance.
3.) An individual in a club that gets highly irate if you bump into them or step on their shoes. Even if the club is packed they expect to have a 50ft buffer zone around them.
Dave- "Hey Justin why didn't you dance with that hot ass girl at that table with the drunk dude? She looked like she really wanted to."
Justin- "Yeah i asked her and she said she really wanted to dance but her date wont let her. He said he would kick my ass if i even looked at her."
Dave- "What?!!!! Her date must be a total club whore!"
Justin- "Yeah i asked her and she said she really wanted to dance but her date wont let her. He said he would kick my ass if i even looked at her."
Dave- "What?!!!! Her date must be a total club whore!"
by A Swinger October 26, 2007