Definitions by Uncle Dimma
attach balloons to
a boy comes home from school, goes into his backyard and starts attaching helium balloons to his lawn chair.
his mother comes into the backyard from the house and starts shrieking at him: Adam, what the beep are you doing?.
Adam: can I attach balloons to this lawn chair without being bloody disturbed? I am trying to turn amateur flying machine building among modern teenagers into a trend. I want modern teenagers to be like Inspector Gadget and maybe, lol, fly away from their computer illiterate.
mother: stop living underwater you stupid devil. now I want you to do your chemistry, and I mean wash the dishes, take out the trash, and the like, not your chemistry homework; you get the idea.
his mother comes into the backyard from the house and starts shrieking at him: Adam, what the beep are you doing?.
Adam: can I attach balloons to this lawn chair without being bloody disturbed? I am trying to turn amateur flying machine building among modern teenagers into a trend. I want modern teenagers to be like Inspector Gadget and maybe, lol, fly away from their computer illiterate.
mother: stop living underwater you stupid devil. now I want you to do your chemistry, and I mean wash the dishes, take out the trash, and the like, not your chemistry homework; you get the idea.
attach balloons to by Uncle Dimma August 31, 2012
a parking ticket
a Roman Catholic family in a mainly WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) neighborhood comes home from church to find the words "alieni ite domum" (latin phrase meaning strangers go home/strangers are not welcome" scratched into their front door.
the father, upon seeing this, says: ah those Confederists again. What a parking ticket. I guess we'll just have to repair the damage, maybe even repaint the door.
the father, upon seeing this, says: ah those Confederists again. What a parking ticket. I guess we'll just have to repair the damage, maybe even repaint the door.
a parking ticket by Uncle Dimma August 25, 2012
f-sag
mother: son what the beep are you doing, putting scissors in the kitchen plug? is this f-sag?
James : lol it's to impress my physics teacher in elementary school, to show that I know what electricity is. Therefore, what i am doing is not f-sag. Besides, something that is done f-sag, is done, in my generation, that is nowadays, when people say to you "watch this", then do something extraordinarily stupid like do a salto mortale off a cliff or a high- rise apartment building, without, rofl copter, having properly thought through what they were going to do, in order to amuse their friends. And usually, an f-sag moment ends in tragic consequences.
James : lol it's to impress my physics teacher in elementary school, to show that I know what electricity is. Therefore, what i am doing is not f-sag. Besides, something that is done f-sag, is done, in my generation, that is nowadays, when people say to you "watch this", then do something extraordinarily stupid like do a salto mortale off a cliff or a high- rise apartment building, without, rofl copter, having properly thought through what they were going to do, in order to amuse their friends. And usually, an f-sag moment ends in tragic consequences.
f-sag by Uncle Dimma August 25, 2012
to save your sinking Titanic
to do anything and everything possible to save one's school/university semester that one is about to fail.
mother: George look at your grades. You' re failing your last year in high-school. Is there anything you can to save your sinking Titanic?
George: Lol. no. I think it's a little late to do anything about it now. I should have listened to you and partied less.
mother: At least it's worth a try, don't ya think so?
George: Lol. no. I think it's a little late to do anything about it now. I should have listened to you and partied less.
mother: At least it's worth a try, don't ya think so?
to save your sinking Titanic by Uncle Dimma August 19, 2012
pigs don't fly
a phrase used to mean "civilized" (however one defines this word) people don't behave the way you do. One can also add the adjective "normal" in front of the adjective civilized.
a boy, after having been to physical science class in elementary school and having learned the basics of electricity, tries putting scissors in the kitchen plug.
His mother starts screaming at him:
mother: is this f-sag you twit? what are you doing, you'll burn the damn house down. Pigs don't fly. Go to your room now. She then takes a broom and starts chasing him around the house.
son: I can attach balloons to anything i want, no? now please apply the phrase pigs don't fly to yourself. i haven't seen that many mothers chase their sons around their houses with bloody brooms; therefore this behavior, I will conclude, must be neither normal nor, in fact, civilized.
His mother starts screaming at him:
mother: is this f-sag you twit? what are you doing, you'll burn the damn house down. Pigs don't fly. Go to your room now. She then takes a broom and starts chasing him around the house.
son: I can attach balloons to anything i want, no? now please apply the phrase pigs don't fly to yourself. i haven't seen that many mothers chase their sons around their houses with bloody brooms; therefore this behavior, I will conclude, must be neither normal nor, in fact, civilized.
pigs don't fly by Uncle Dimma August 19, 2012
troglodithe
mother: Peter, my favorite troglodithe, it's time to pick up your toys and go to bed, sweet heart.
Peter: Wait, lol, since you called me a troglodithe, my nickname is now Squirtle, as in one of the three starting Pokemon?
mother: if you want, but, lol, my troglodithe Squirtle, please pick up yopur toys and go to bed.
Peter (now calling himself Squirtle, as a nickname): okay.
Peter: Wait, lol, since you called me a troglodithe, my nickname is now Squirtle, as in one of the three starting Pokemon?
mother: if you want, but, lol, my troglodithe Squirtle, please pick up yopur toys and go to bed.
Peter (now calling himself Squirtle, as a nickname): okay.
troglodithe by Uncle Dimma August 19, 2012
give a rat's ass
mother: Adrian, you Snorlax I want you to save your sinking Titanic. The only way you can do this right now, is guess what, to give a rat's ass about your future.
Adrian (snoring): ,,,zzz...zzz...oh hello mom, what time is it?
Adrian (snoring): ,,,zzz...zzz...oh hello mom, what time is it?
give a rat's ass by Uncle Dimma August 19, 2012