While referring primarily to HIV and hepatitis, the term 'needle cooties' can apply to any malady which can be transmitted though the sharing of needles for intravenous drug use.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 01, 2016
The free rental is a scam which makes use of the loose return policies of corporate retail entities.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
My mom couldn't afford to buy an air conditioner for her blazing hot, shitty apartment, so she rolled down to Fail-Mart to pick up a free rental window unit for the summer months. When the weather cools off, she'll probably return the AC unit and buy herself a nice warm coat from the same store. Oh wait, did I say 'BUY'? Silly me, I meant to say she'll get a FREE RENTAL!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 17, 2009
The quantity of a mind-altering substance which does not impair the user's ability to functionally converse. This dosage can a be highly (no pun intended) subjective, depending not only upon the substance and the user, but also the peripheral circumstances.
When David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger starts falling apart, that's a sure sign that Mr. Hasselhoff has surpassed his social dose of alcohol for the evening.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2010
Dude, stop calling my celly asking me for Xanax! Don't you know the fucking pigs are tapping my phone? Next time, just say you need to hang out with anna nicole smith, ya doofus. Save that overly obvious telephone terminology for when you're calling a sketch pad.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2009
This term describes the 'all-the-way-forward' handlebar position most commonly seen on BMX bikes in urban areas of the United States.
Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:
1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday
2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.
3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.
All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:
1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday
2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.
3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.
All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Hahaha! Did you see that guy with his bars almost rubbing the front tire? WTF?
Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 22, 2010
Making the critical mistake of letting the internet decide things.
Back story:
Boaty McBoatface (also known as Boaty) is the British lead boat in a fleet of three robotic lithium battery–powered autonomous underwater vehicles (AUVs) of the Autosub Long Range (ALR) class. Launched in 2017 and carried on board the polar scientific research vessel RRS Sir David Attenborough, she is a focal point of the Polar Explorer Programme of the UK Government.
The name Boaty McBoatface was originally proposed in a March 2016 #NameOurShip online poll to name the £200 million polar scientific research ship being constructed in the Cammell Laird shipyard in Birkenhead for the United Kingdom's Natural Environment Research Council (NERC).2 BBC Radio Jersey presenter James Hand coined the humorous suggestion Boaty McBoatface for the poll, and the name quickly became the most popular choice by far, with 33% of the vote to 11% for the second choice. The name was described as a homage to Hooty McOwlface, an owl named through an "Adopt-a-Bird" programme in 2012 that became popular on the Internet.
Back story:
Boaty McBoatface (also known as Boaty) is the British lead boat in a fleet of three robotic lithium battery–powered autonomous underwater vehicles (AUVs) of the Autosub Long Range (ALR) class. Launched in 2017 and carried on board the polar scientific research vessel RRS Sir David Attenborough, she is a focal point of the Polar Explorer Programme of the UK Government.
The name Boaty McBoatface was originally proposed in a March 2016 #NameOurShip online poll to name the £200 million polar scientific research ship being constructed in the Cammell Laird shipyard in Birkenhead for the United Kingdom's Natural Environment Research Council (NERC).2 BBC Radio Jersey presenter James Hand coined the humorous suggestion Boaty McBoatface for the poll, and the name quickly became the most popular choice by far, with 33% of the vote to 11% for the second choice. The name was described as a homage to Hooty McOwlface, an owl named through an "Adopt-a-Bird" programme in 2012 that became popular on the Internet.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 12, 2024
An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
I saw a cop fall off his horse and land face first. His assholes did not survive.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 08, 2010