Ptenis

When you type "penis" but make the most 'dumbass' typo. (because p and t are 5 keys apart)

Man: "Search up ptenis"
Google: "Do you mean 'pterodactyl penis'?"
Man: "No"
Google: Shuts off computer

by ☆★Midas★☆ November 23, 2021

lgbtqia+ is a sin

You have a choice, you're still human, but no, god sees that as a sin. Alas, it's forgivable, but ay! That doesn't mean you gotta rub yo virgin asses in my face! I know you're gay I'm not mentally damaged, unlike you.

Gay dude: Hey man wanna be friends, im gay.
Me: Your brain is damaged in every way and not even exorcism will fix it. Why don't you becone friends with Yuri?
Gayass: Whose Yuri?
Me: Yuri Tarted.
Lesson learned:
LGBTQIA+ Is a sin!
-I think god said that in the bible

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 26, 2022

Cumshout

When you pinch your testes right as you ejagulate and then shout to shoot a cumnado (a tornado of cum) out your mouth.

Mom: Did you paint the bathroom? White is a good paint choice!
Son: Nah mom that was a cumshout!

by ☆★Midas★☆ November 24, 2021

The better fortnite

It's a term for a better game, and it's exactly that. Slither.io.

dudeguy45: "wanna pway fowtnite?"
Pussyslayer69420: "Nah man im to busy playing the BETTER fortnite!"

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 10, 2022

Your Mom

The best comeback in the world

Guy 1: Hey your penis is a tic tac!!!
Guy 2: No wonder why your moms breath smells so fresh.

by ☆★Midas★☆ November 23, 2021

homosomatic typing

Homo- Same
Somato- Body
Typing the name of the body part corresponding to the one you are typing it with. I.E. typing "nose" with your nose.

Tim: Nose
Haha I typed "nose" with my nose!
Jake: Heart
Tim: Jake...?
Jake: ...
Tim: Jake, WhAt ThE fUcK?!
Tim: ...
Jake: HOMOSOMATIC TYPING...
Tim: AHHH SHIT, WHAT THE FU-

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 22, 2022

dino stomach

When you fuck a girl so deep and hard, that her egg fucking explodes. Then, causing an extinction in her ovaries.

It was a casual day in the Angry Bird Kingdom... and oh! WHAT THE FUCK?!
Red: So Chuck you will not believe this
Chuck: Wha-
Bomb: Hey man what the fuck did you do to my bed.
Jay Jake and Jim: We fucked our 3 twin sisters last night!
Red: ...
Bomb: I just pounded your mother last night, Jake!
Jim: NANI?
Bomb: I gave her a dino stomach!
Matilda: Looks like I'll shoot other things out my ass!
\('v')/ good for you

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 16, 2022