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1.
The name given to a loss of clear speech due to use/abuse of ketamine. Combines an existing loss of ability to put together a sentence with the slurring of words. Sufferers will find it very hard to "spit out" words.

Magically rhymes with "bong" and can be used to turn marijuana references into ketamine references.

Word is likely derived from the combination of 'k' and 'langue', the french word for tongue.
I had mad klong when I was talking to her last night.

Hits from the klong!
by snubbyy June 08, 2009
 
2.
A rush of fecal matter to the heart.
When I saw the flashing lights in my rearview mirror, I felt an instant klong.
by Cris Alexander February 14, 2004
 
3.
old African-American and southern slang for a treatment to de-kink hair, if one's hair is curly or kinky and one wants to de-kink it. Usually applied to an African-American's hair.
She went and got a klong treatment and her hair, now it's all straight and proper and she looks great!
by Leroy November 24, 2003
 
4.
Klong : Something that is so utterly better than something else that it obliterates it. Inspired by the sound "Klong!" of the thing that is being Klonged being crushed under a One Ton Metal Weight dropped on top of it.

Can refer to upgrades, or best of class.
"Heroes series 4 is so tired and uninspired. That new show Flash Forward just totally Klonged it!"

"I thought my last girlfriend was hot but you totally Klonged her"

Very similar to the term "Shits all over"
by sharkswithfrickenlaserbeams October 02, 2009