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failson
White, middle-class, male, useless people—who have just enough family context to not be crushed by poverty.
Felix, the failson of the family, goes downstairs at Thanksgiving, briefly mumbles, ‘Hi,’ everyone asks him how community college is going, he mumbles something about a 2.0 average, goes back upstairs with a loaf of bread and some peanut butter, and gets back to gaming and masturbating.
failson by the_new_new_dirtbag November 18, 2016
Related Words
failron • Failroad • failson • Failony • Faileontologist • Faileron • failion • failionaire • failmonger • Failmonkey
Failtronics
Failtronics by Dr. Phil's Conscience September 26, 2009
failson
An entitled upper-class or upper-middle-class son of a well-to-do and connected family who, despite all of the advantages he has been provided, still manages to fail at almost everything he does. In order for a failson to come into being, one or both of his parents must be highly successful by some measure in order to illuminate just how much of a failure the son is in comparison.
Failsons are typically educated at good schools that they learn almost nothing from, prone to excessive partying in their youth, and inept at almost everything except using their connections. Failsons from the wealthiest families are often charged with leading some part of family business operations, which inevitably either fail or are narrowly saved from failure by more competent people underneath them.
Despite this, a failson may be protected from the perception of his failure by his family's wealth and social status, as well as their desire not to be embarrassed. Millions have been spent to obscure the failure of these cherished baby boys. Due to this, it's not uncommon for a failson to actually imagine himself as successful, and even to be a "self-made man."
Failsons are sometimes at the center of massive social and political upheaval. One of the best examples in recent history is Russian Tsar Nicholas II of the Romanov family, whose complete incompetence led to the downfall of the Tsarist regime and eventually, the Russian Revolution.
Female: faildaughter
Gender-neutral: failspawn
Failsons are typically educated at good schools that they learn almost nothing from, prone to excessive partying in their youth, and inept at almost everything except using their connections. Failsons from the wealthiest families are often charged with leading some part of family business operations, which inevitably either fail or are narrowly saved from failure by more competent people underneath them.
Despite this, a failson may be protected from the perception of his failure by his family's wealth and social status, as well as their desire not to be embarrassed. Millions have been spent to obscure the failure of these cherished baby boys. Due to this, it's not uncommon for a failson to actually imagine himself as successful, and even to be a "self-made man."
Failsons are sometimes at the center of massive social and political upheaval. One of the best examples in recent history is Russian Tsar Nicholas II of the Romanov family, whose complete incompetence led to the downfall of the Tsarist regime and eventually, the Russian Revolution.
Female: faildaughter
Gender-neutral: failspawn
"Do most influential political families have a failson?"
"Probably. Donald Trump, Jr. is a classic failson. So is Hunter Biden."
"Wait ... Was George W. Bush actually a failson? Or did he overcome it by becoming President?"
"That's a question for the ages, my friend. Is failure central to the failson, or can it be transcended through enough artificially-manufactured success on the part of the failson's family and associated cronies? The world may never know."
"Probably. Donald Trump, Jr. is a classic failson. So is Hunter Biden."
"Wait ... Was George W. Bush actually a failson? Or did he overcome it by becoming President?"
"That's a question for the ages, my friend. Is failure central to the failson, or can it be transcended through enough artificially-manufactured success on the part of the failson's family and associated cronies? The world may never know."
failson by dongchaser420 October 9, 2022
Failmonkey
Failmonkey by Mellrocks November 1, 2012
More from Urban Dictionary
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
murderhobo
In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026