Gorge Bush decided to stimulate the economy by giving his biggest campaign supporters yet another tax refund. They responded in kind by donating half of their refunds to his re-election campaign. It's a nice cycle, isn't it?

(FYI, I did have to spell to save my life once: a gun-wielding maniac threatened to blow my head off unless I correctly spelled "onomatopoeia".)

Bitch tell me why I just got phenominalicioslyloored!!

Person A: "I was in the park yesterday when I heard this really eerie sound, like a loud stomacracia."

Person B: "That's really disturbing. What do you think it was?"

Person A: "I walked over to the other side of the park and saw that a tree had fallen on a man. The sound I heard was the man's body being crushed under the weight of the tree."

Person B: "Oh my god, that's terrible. Was he okay?"

Person A: "Unfortunately not. He didn't survive the accident."

Person B: "That's really sad. It's awful to think about the sound that his body made in those final moments."

Person A: "Yeah, it was definitely a haunting sound. I won't forget it anytime soon."

In trying to clean the toothpaste off of his bathroom mirror, Jeff presses way too hard against the glass, breaking it.

God damnit...I just frankenfingered my mirror!

tard hand

little timmy: DASH SPIDER MEME IS SO FUNNEEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!1111

"I was just so drunk when she was sucking me off, when I finally came I spurgeoned everywhere."