“Took her to Taco Bell, bought her a churro, took her home, and gave her a cinnamon swirl.”

If you know a damoy you are lucky

1. Man: Hey, would you be interested in joining our church?

Woman: What church are you?

Man: We're promiscuitarians, the church of promiscuity.

Woman: I'm in.

2. Tim: Hey, you know Cathy?

Mark: Yeah.

Tim: I'm totally going to do her!

Mark: She's so uptight and religious, she'll never let you.

Tim: Yeah, it looks like that, but she's actually a promiscuitarian.

Mark: Sweet.

My cousin is dating a squirm named Austin

The perfect example of an inHuman CRACKER

White guy#1 Hey, aren't you exited about our new president??!?!

White guy#2 I don't like 'em

White guy#1 Why Tommy? He's a very good president.

White guy#2 His skin color...i don't like it!

White guy#1 What? That makes no since Tommy.

White guy#2 I know, the truth is that I've gotten my ass beaten everyday by a black guy in high school.

White guy#1 That's terrible...but do you think that's a reason to hate ALL black people though?

White guy#2 *dies of confusion*

person 1: did you catch charlieissocoollike on fiveawesomeguys?

person 2: err what?

person 1: yeah! He and nerimon, fallofautumndistro, toddly00, and johnnydurham19 all contribute one video a week to the fiveawesomeguys youtube account. Its totally jokes.

person 2: you're scaring me...

person 1: you should totally check it out!

*person 2 runs away*