torontoish 

When someone asks where you live and you don’t live in Toronto (you live near it), but they won’t know what you’re talking about if you tell them the truth.

Jack: “are you guys from port hope?”
Martina: “a little bit kinda like torontoish”

torontoish by httpuni July 31, 2018

Torontophobia 

The overwhelming belief by other Ontarians that you will be shot, mugged, raped, and murdered the instant you set foot in Toronto.

This phenomenom is generally seen in people from small towns and rural areas, but is also curiously prevalent among the older citizens of Oshawa, a neighbouring city of considerable size with a MUCH higher rate of crackheads per capita.

Deena: Okay, we're going to go shopping in downtown Toronto, but I really don't want to carry this fifty on me.

Kaytor: Why not? You're going with a group of people to a crowded area in broad daylight. Are you planning on waving it around like a little red flag?

Deena: Well, no... but you know, it's Toronto. People get shot there!!!1

Kaytor: You have horrible Torontophobia.

Torontophobia by Mighty Kaytor February 25, 2009

Torontosis 

Torontosis (pronunciation: tor-on-TO-sis) A common condition usually caught from extended time periods spent in the Toronto area. It usually goes unnoticed in Toronto because it is so endemic to the area it is often overlooked. Characterized by extremist views and behaviours which annoy and set them apart from the wider community.

Symptoms vary but often include:

1. Overwhelming need to natter on about their overly-specific interest area. Re-directs or relates all conversation back to their fixation.

2. Driving non-infected persons away with a condescending attitude/cult-like zeal/boring endless talk on one subject.

3. Annoyance at anyone who does not know the detailed minutia of, or enjoy their over-specific interests.

4. Extreme dietary restrictions.

5. Condescending attitude towards anyone who enjoys mainstream art, music, products, or alignment with a political party that currently has elected members in government.

6. Only willing to eat/buy products that follow an unreasonably narrow moral guideline.

7. Are incapable of controlling their need to berate others about how immorally they live their lives.

Treatment:

The only known treatment for Torontosis is to spend significant amounts of time away from their tiny community of people who share their worldview. Time in smaller cities or the countryside is best. Torontosis is one strain of a disease that plague other major cities, such as NewYorkosis, Londonitis, Seattle Syndrome, and Vancoveriasis.

You can safely diagnose a case of Torontosis in the following cases:

1 and 2. "Yeah, you know, your situation with your roommmate reminds me of the political situation of Ukraine in 1918"

3. "Is that a Nicki Minaj CD? Sorry could you turn it off, I only listen to minimalist techno or drum-and-bass made in london between 1994 and 1997."

"Sorry, I can't go see a movie with you this week, waay too busy organizing...hey, do you want to come to our Reproductive Justice Slam Poetry Fundraiser?"

4. "You don't have any gluten-free bagels? Next you're going to tell me your only non-dairy creamer option is soy!!"

5. "I don't understand how you can support the NDP, they're capitalist traitors to the people's cause!!"

6. "I only wear clothes that I wove myself, from organic cotton, or were made by a commune in nepal from yaks hair."

7. "I can't believe you would consider using a choke chain on your 200 lb. Mastiff. How would YOU like a choke collar, you twisted westboro baptist nazi??"

Torontosis by Caralain13 November 23, 2011

torontoise 

To render a progressive public policy measure ineffective or even counterproductive by stripping it of any elements that might be characterized as even mildly inconveniencing motorists or owners of detached, single-family homes, or that might require even a modest increase in public revenue.

City Councilor: "We're not going to exactly replicate #visionzero, we're going to torontoise it, make it our own." #walkTO #bikeTO

torontoise by Danforthist June 16, 2018