1.
Evan was too
drunk last night so he just decided to thumb it. his girlfriend told him he got bigger.
Evan cried himself to sleep...
2. Dude: i was sooo smashed last night i couldn't get it up man.
Man: you should have thumbed it dude!
Dude: f that shit i duffle bagged it instead man.
Man: yeah but knowing your girlfriend it would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway dude!
Dude: thats low man. (shoots off the mans dick)