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the first and the third 

The term "the first and the third" refers to the two days of the month on which individuals receiving government financial assistance get their funds. On these days, some low-income and government housing projects prohibit their residents from receiving visitors so that the funds are not mismanaged. Generally, the term refers to the distribution of federal aid money (and not the other negative connotation).
Examples in pop-culture:
"And make 'em feel good like the first and the third." (Jeezy, from the song "My Hood," off the album "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101")
"Getting like like the first and the third." (Curren$y, from the song, "Coolie in the Cut," off the album "New Jet City")

Example of daily usage:
me: "Hi Caleb, I'm in the Tenderloin. Can I come visit?"
boyfriend: "No, it's the third. My building won't allow visitors today. People's checks just came in."
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the first and the third 

1) A waste of time. 2) an unsatisfactory gain from a considerable investment. 3) Sexual assault during the course of public higher education. 4) The worst of a bad choice.

A derivation of a longer trueism: "You only go to a large state college to get raped, alcohol poisoning, and a substandard education." The first and the third (of that list) became synonymous with any situation involving getting the lesser two of any three unappealing options.
He went to the University of Massachusetts for four years and all he got was the first and the third.

In Third Grade, I Sold Dragon Ball Z Documents And Slipped Backwards: The First Juvenile Release 

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: In Third Grade, I Sold Dragon Ball Z Documents And Slipped Backwards: The First Juvenile Release

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More from Urban Dictionary

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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