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the first and the third 

The term "the first and the third" refers to the two days of the month on which individuals receiving government financial assistance get their funds. On these days, some low-income and government housing projects prohibit their residents from receiving visitors so that the funds are not mismanaged. Generally, the term refers to the distribution of federal aid money (and not the other negative connotation).
Examples in pop-culture:
"And make 'em feel good like the first and the third." (Jeezy, from the song "My Hood," off the album "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101")
"Getting like like the first and the third." (Curren$y, from the song, "Coolie in the Cut," off the album "New Jet City")

Example of daily usage:
me: "Hi Caleb, I'm in the Tenderloin. Can I come visit?"
boyfriend: "No, it's the third. My building won't allow visitors today. People's checks just came in."
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the first and the third 

1) A waste of time. 2) an unsatisfactory gain from a considerable investment. 3) Sexual assault during the course of public higher education. 4) The worst of a bad choice.

A derivation of a longer trueism: "You only go to a large state college to get raped, alcohol poisoning, and a substandard education." The first and the third (of that list) became synonymous with any situation involving getting the lesser two of any three unappealing options.
He went to the University of Massachusetts for four years and all he got was the first and the third.

In Third Grade, I Sold Dragon Ball Z Documents And Slipped Backwards: The First Juvenile Release 

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: In Third Grade, I Sold Dragon Ball Z Documents And Slipped Backwards: The First Juvenile Release

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Serial Monogamist 

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.
Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...
Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

liquid lunch 

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.
"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."
liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004
Word of the Day on June 21, 2026
Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.
This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)
dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004
Word of the Day on June 20, 2026