An instrument used to measure the amount of retardation in a person or situation. The measurement is displayed in units of tard, with a low of one tard and a high of 100 tards. Similar to a Geiger counter.
Did you see how stupid that chick was? I got a reading of 63 tards on my tardtometer.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!