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the straw king

A highly trained, bilingual secret agent man made entirely of straw. Trained extensively in the field of extreme weather survival, covert operation, explosive weapon disarmament, long range sharpshooting, jungle survival, high speed precision driving, and witty comeback responses. The only way to appease this killing machine is to pay your respects to him by kissing him on the cheek. If due respect is not paid in full, upon time of arrival, you may find him at the foot of your bed at night...waiting to drag your soul to the underworld. Yeah, he specializes in that too.
Broccoli Rob must repay his respect to the straw king soon, or risk being flayed.

Strawa-Kiri 

A method of snorting drugs. Give yourself a nosebleed with the straw and snort just before the blood builds up. Plug that nostril with toilet paper then experience a quick euphoric rush. NOT to be confused with hara-kiri, a japanese form of suicide.
Dude! John’s nose just did strawa-kiri!

Kinkos Straws 

Gas Station and Fast Food straws made from paper and taste like copy paper when used for drinking.
I had to use Kinkos Straws today at my local gas station because the store got rid of plastic straws.
Kinkos Straws by jondich October 27, 2021