When you send Pam to the shops for some fags, bog roll and spam. When you get it you make a spam dagger and force feed it to the cat until it shits on your mums bed
"The cats shat the spam dagger all over mums bed.. Lets blame Andy"
When a fat, greasy bar man hunts you down because you wont take your wood away and there's a band coming at 6 but your stranded due to adverse weather conditions and your trying to find a canoe
Look you jobsworth spam dagger.. i'm trying to get a canoe to get to you but i might not be there before the band gets there at 6 so you might have to be a hero and cut the wood with your fat spam axe.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'