A thing, situation, or person that both sucks and blows (i.e., REALLY sucks). Named after the shop-vac vacuum cleaner, which can be set to either draw air in or push it out.
"I hate my job, my boss is a total shop-vac."

"You had to eat tofu hotdogs because she's a vegan? What a shop-vac!"
by Jackee C. June 19, 2008
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When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
I found a nice shop vac last night.
by Womanizer August 31, 2003
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A powerful vacuum used to clean up large messes
Kiersten : Wow Jake you really came A lot last night good thing we have that Shop Vac in the garage.
Jake : Uh yeah I did cum a lot last night but we didn't use a Shop Vac to clean it up!
Kiersten : Oh Yeah that was Monday night when Matthew came over!
Jake : WHAT!
Kiersten : Oh he's the cute salesman from Sears that sold me the Shop Vac he offered to show me how it worked!
Kiersten : No silly Matthew sucked his cum out of me with the Shop Vac GEE Jake don't have a cow!
Jake : Your pathetic you know that!
Steve : Hey guys check out the Shop Vac that cute guy from Sears sold me it can suck the cum right out of my dick! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Oh Jesus Christ! and it can suck Matthew's cum right out of my ass Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Oh Jesus Christ!
Kiersten : And you think im pathetic?
Jake : Yeah you and Steve deserve each other!
Steve : Hey Kiersten wanna come over to my place tonight and play with my Shop Vac? (Wink)
Kiersten : Oh go fuck your Shop Vac!
by SlopNChop September 26, 2018
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When a girl is that big of a slut, shes sucking dick like a shop vac. Or when you suspect a guy using a shop vac in order to fulfill his needs
Whoa, shes a shopvac.....or.....Hey shopvac, did it cut ur dick off last night?
by airj56 April 10, 2005
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Sexual Act Only Capable of Being Preformed by the Talented:

A male or female human, and/or animal forms a tight seal over the anus of his or her sexual partner (usually with the lips of the mouth--though the differing biological attributes of species may change this slightly, e.g. elephants may use their trunks) and attempts to suck all accessible fecal matter from the consenting colon into the mouth.
Due to the high volume of pressure, any gaps in the seal tend to produce a sound which in addition to the act is similar to that of a ShopVac.
To aid in the facilitation of procuring large amounts of feces enemas may be preformed on the partner's anus prior to start.
Opinions differ on the proper disposal of said excrement after the process is complete. Some enthusiasts simply ingest though this is not encouraged due to increased health risks. Others attempt to force it back into their partner with mixed results depending on the consistency. Still others get more creative, painting their partners, putting it in or around their own anus, mixing it with various other substances. or vomiting uncontrollably.
Many of these fetishists are also very particular about what food they consume before the event. Very popular is performing this act while in the midst of a regimented colon cleanse.
Keanu Reeves: Man, Tom Cruise gave me a hellva Shop Vac last night.

Stephen Hawking: I.bet.that.was.great.I.once.gave.a.Shop.Vac.to.Muhammad Ali.those.were.the.days.

Reeves: It couldn't have been as good as this though, I mean he sucked like a champ, it was loud as hell and then he vommed fucking eveywhere, and we played in that huge pool of his puke and my poo all evening, wrestling, porking, kissing, loving *sigh*

Hawking: ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.i.knew.he.was.a.fag
by Lovin' Poo May 26, 2010
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