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Phantom Shit 

A phantom shit is the rare phenominon wherein a shit (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the shitee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom shit completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant.

Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly shit or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding shit upon the toilet paper. However, if the shit was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no shit-stains, then symptons may intensify until the shitee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories.
-Bob squats over his toilet and unleashes a dump
-Bob rises to a stand and stares down at the toilet to find it empty. A phantom shit has occured.
-Astonished, Bob grabs for some toilet roll in a panic and wipes his ass
-The toilet roll produces no shit post-wipe and Bob runs away from the bathroom flailing his hands above his head whilst screaming
-Bob tells his friends that The Illuminati are in cahoots with giant-headed aliens in a plot to take over the world.
-Bob creates retarded websites and spends his life masterbating over sexless, fictional alien creatures.
Phantom Shit by Conor Reilly December 3, 2006

Phantom Shit Perfecto

A shit which leaves behind no trace. When you wipe your arse you find that it's clean, and when you look in the toilet nothing is there. You're left wondering if you actually had a shit.
- I had a shit perfecto this morning. My arse was as clean as a polished sixpence.
- That's nothing. I had a phantom shit perfecto earlier. I didn't even have to flush.

- In heaven, every shit is a shit perfecto.

Phantom Shit 

When you are sitting on the crapper and you force out what feels like a triple coiler and you look in the bowl of the toilet and its gone
"(on the phone after a phantom shit)"
Person A: i was just sitting on john for twenty minutes and i took the biggest shit of my life
Person B: Did you get a picture?
Person A: NO IT WAS A PHANTOM SHIT!!!
Phantom Shit by ||Loco|| March 1, 2009

phantom shit bandit  

A person with an ass so big they would need mirrors to back into the stall visits a public/office restroom and defecates the messiest sloppiest nutty dump all over seat and floor. They always manage to slip away without be noticed, despite HOW big they are.
MY god the phantom shit bandit strikes again. My good it is all over the walls too.
phantom shit bandit by dontbah8tr February 27, 2009

phantom shit 

when you take a shit, and when you wipe your ass, there isnt any shit on the toilet paper
i saved three minutes by taking a phantom shit, way to be
phantom shit by ray June 17, 2004

Phantom Shit 

A phantom shit is when you take such a big dump that it has the velocity to go through the pipes without you needing to flush and when you look down it has appeared to vanish.
person 1 : Jaysus, just had a giant shit. When I looked down to check the size of it, it had disappeared.
person 2 : So it was a "Phantom Shit" ?

person 1 : Yeah! Didn't even need to flush.
Phantom Shit by BillyyLAD November 29, 2012