Offer ice for every last thing. Unkept office with students lined up out the door trying to get home. There are probably no more than two school nurses per school. Thinks that you parents or guardians need to know every last bit of information, and asks them if they can come pick you up. These nurses probably don't even have a medical dagree. Most of these school nurses are fat. Eventhough you feel horible, they probably won't beleive you, so they send you back to class after 3 mins. Nurses have memory erasers, because they ask for you name evey time you go to see them. Their office always smells like they are cooking something. Probably every office has an empty garbage bin for needles. Probably every office has a microwave.
(NOTE I am just using random names!)
(Bob) Mrs, I feel like I will be throwing up badly
*Throws up intestines*
(School Nurse) Do you want me to call your mom?

(Steve) Mrs I think I am pa-
*Drops to floor*
(Nurse) You look fine to me, go back to class!
by Aidan Yurich November 17, 2008
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Bitches that don't even help us. They simply give us ice when we break our goddamn NOSE. Bitch do you even help us? Do you have a fucking degree for this? Please let principals fire you. You're just as useless as Donald Trump.
Student: School nurse I broke my arm, can you call the Doctor?

School Nurse: Have some ice and continue playing!

Student: what the fuck
by leviswindex November 16, 2020
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Gives you crackers to "help" with a stomach ache. Doesn't care if there are boys around, will ask u if you are on ur period, Overall shit.
by Luh Tia March 15, 2020
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A member of the professional staff at elementary, middle and high schools. Typically run a small clinic within a school, aiming to meet the medical needs of students that arise during the school day. They usually give routine medications, offer first aid, a whole lotta ice packs, juice boxes and limitless naps.

Yes, they can see through your bs, they know what "real sick" looks like and they send you back to class fast if you are annoying.
"hey, I'm bored in class, I think I'll ask to go to the school nurse so I can waste some time before lunch"

"The school nurse is someone who doesn't judge, I think I'll go tell her my life story"

"I should be embarrassed that I've been to the school nurse 12 times already this year and it's only October, but that's not stopping me from going to see her again today"
by JennyC October 16, 2012
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A lady who "cures you" by putting ice on you because they think ice cures everything.
Kid1- Im hurt!

School Nurse- Okay here's some ice.
Kid1- Bruv.
by angelina#5724 (discord) May 26, 2020
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the hardest most stressful shit one will ever go through in life.
"hey where has kathy been these past months?"
"oh, shes stuck in nursing school studying for the rest of her life."
by nurseintraining March 7, 2008
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4 years but the first year is spent taking watered-down science classes to get a 2.75GPA. Upon entrance to the program, clinicals are spent dispensing vitamins and fluffing pillows.
Nursing Student: I'm so glad I only need to get a 2.75 to get in nursing school, I think I'll stop going to class.
by PerryCox May 6, 2020
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