Skip to main content

Printing Press 

A niche one-person sex machine that distinctly resembles an old fashioned printing press.

There is a mechanical dildo which is inserted in a locomotive fashion into the vagina, anus or other orifice of the receiver. Simultaneously, there are paint rollers that move back and forth over the breasts or pectoral muscles of the subject and they are then lowered onto the paper where the ink/paint transfers to the paper. The printing on the paper happens in a 1 to 2 ratio - once for every two insertions of the dildo.
"I spent 15 minutes on the printing press last night....best orgasms I have ever had!"
Printing Press mug front
Get the Printing Press mug.
See more merch

Printing Press 

This sex act requires that you abduct three little girls and strip them naked in your basement. You must then break their knees with a sledgehammer, toss the girls aside, create a mixture of laxatives and your bodily fluids (especially cum and vomit), and let it blend for ten minutes. During these ten minutes, you are to stand a few meters from your desired girl, charge towards her, ram your cock (you can use a spiked dildo, albeit not necessary) up her ass (cunts and mouths are acceptable), and repeat for each girl until the blending finishes. Feed one of the girls your concoction and, with a staple gun, connect the girls' mouths to each other's asses so that they form an endless human centipede. After some time, collect some of their shit and use it to spell out a phrase of your choice. Smear the shit on their faces afterwards and beat off on their backs and faces.
Vomit on a printing press for bonus points.
Printing Press by Yopmail User August 27, 2023

printing press 

A dirty sex position which involves shoving dollar bills into the vagina
Bro, i totally printing pressed her last night
printing press by Twinky117 October 2, 2013

Toilet Printing Press 

When a fatass can't wipe his ass due to his ass cheeks being so big so he spreads his ass enough to fit some toilet paper in there and like a print press closes his ass to press the shit on the paper.
My doctor said I'm on the road to obesity, I don't want to be operating a Toilet Printing Press anytime soon
well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!
Them future folk took ouare jerbs!
jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005
Word of the Day on May 22, 2026
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020
Word of the Day on May 21, 2026

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019
Word of the Day on May 20, 2026