Printing Press

A niche one-person sex machine that distinctly resembles an old fashioned printing press.

There is a mechanical dildo which is inserted in a locomotive fashion into the vagina, anus or other orifice of the receiver. Simultaneously, there are paint rollers that move back and forth over the breasts or pectoral muscles of the subject and they are then lowered onto the paper where the ink/paint transfers to the paper. The printing on the paper happens in a 1 to 2 ratio - once for every two insertions of the dildo.

"I spent 15 minutes on the printing press last night....best orgasms I have ever had!"

Printing Press by Azbo The Great! March 10, 2017

Get merch

Get the Printing Press mug.

See more merch

Printing Press

This sex act requires that you abduct three little girls and strip them naked in your basement. You must then break their knees with a sledgehammer, toss the girls aside, create a mixture of laxatives and your bodily fluids (especially cum and vomit), and let it blend for ten minutes. During these ten minutes, you are to stand a few meters from your desired girl, charge towards her, ram your cock (you can use a spiked dildo, albeit not necessary) up her ass (cunts and mouths are acceptable), and repeat for each girl until the blending finishes. Feed one of the girls your concoction and, with a staple gun, connect the girls' mouths to each other's asses so that they form an endless human centipede. After some time, collect some of their shit and use it to spell out a phrase of your choice. Smear the shit on their faces afterwards and beat off on their backs and faces.

Vomit on a printing press for bonus points.

Printing Press by Yopmail User August 27, 2023

printing press

A dirty sex position which involves shoving dollar bills into the vagina

Bro, i totally printing pressed her last night

printing press by Twinky117 October 2, 2013

Get merch

Toilet Printing Press

When a fatass can't wipe his ass due to his ass cheeks being so big so he spreads his ass enough to fit some toilet paper in there and like a print press closes his ass to press the shit on the paper.

My doctor said I'm on the road to obesity, I don't want to be operating a Toilet Printing Press anytime soon

Toilet Printing Press by meme man 696969 November 8, 2018

Get merch

Fleg

The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.

"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"

Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013

Word of the Day on July 18, 2026

Get merch

Skeef

To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.

"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."

Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026

Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Get merch

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.

I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand

Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026

Word of the Day on July 16, 2026

Get merch