After being hit from fecal fallout upon entering a shared bathroom (usually at work), the person/
people you suspect that are dropping miasmic mud missiles and proboscis
poopy-traps, rendering the bathroom the likes of a
war-torn region. The poopetrator(s) are typically, but not limited to, males ages 30-60 who have recently gained excessive mass, had a recent change to gait, and/or are slender kombucha and tea drinkers.
Me, returning from the
bathroom and warning a colleague, “CODE
BROWN! The
bathroom has been annihilated!”
Colleague, “Seriously! Who would’ve done that?”
Me, “I believe it to be the usual poopetrator(s).