petrified

An unreasonable (or is it?)phobia of treating computer mouse as a pet.

I'm petrified of sharpening my mouse instead of my pencil.

by Hercolena Oliver July 11, 2008

petrify

Gettin' hard.

A Gargoyle can petrifies in the day.

Let's get some petrified wood

Man, that's one petrified boner!

by CheapAlert March 4, 2004

Petrified

So terrified that one can't move.

John was petrified after the rollercoaster ride.

by Photonbeam September 19, 2019

Naked and Petrified

Naked and Petrified is an Internet-based troll meme, nowadays usually associated with Natalie Portman. It (apparently) first started out via comments on the SegFault website, and was used regarding Mae Ling Mak, a Linux magazine columnist. Its origins may lie in the Rocky Horror Show, where the heroes were turned into naked statues.

After comments were disabled on SegFault, N+P moved over to Slashdot where it mated with some Natalie Portman related trolls and appeared in its present form.

It is also closely associated with hot grits a la "Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits". Articles written in late 2000 accuse the Portmanified meme of being played out, but it was still a favourite almost five years later. Even in 2007 it still pops up now and then.

"Natalie Portman, naked and petrified and covered in hot grits"

by Durban Ictionary April 12, 2007

petrified penguin

When one lies on top of another pinning then down, urinates allover them, and yells "PETRIFIED PENGUIN!!"

Jake: "Hey look! Arielle is giving Alex a petrified penguin!"

by Dirty P November 1, 2013

petrified grape

A Raisin

Guy 1: Is that a petrified grape?

Guy 2: No, it's raisin.

Guy 1: Wait, isn't that the same thing. Guy 2: No.

by Dysfunctional.Asian August 16, 2017

Petrified Tree

When, during intercourse, the penis becomes numb due to under stimulation. The male equivalent of Zombie Beaver. Useful for Cock-Slapping, Cock-stands, Tripod-ing, etc.

Janet was so begrudgingly wide that I got the good 'ol Petrified Tree. After that, I charmingly berated her, and cock-slapped her with my rock-solid Mahogany Staff.

by Phydeaux The Grate August 11, 2009