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Penis Monkey

The act of surgically attaching an 8+ inch male Homo Sapien penis to a monkey, (preferably a chimpanzee) and then dubbing said monkey a "Penis Monkey".
Did you hear about the Zoo's new attraction? It's a Penis Monkey!

Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
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-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility
Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

The Penis Monkey challenge

The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.
Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"

Penis Monkey

A magical monkey-like creature that sits on your pubic hair.
"Marcus says he has 7 penis monkeys."
"Well then he must have A LOT of pubic hair to hold them up"

Penis Monster 

A woman (or man) who has an insatiable hunger for male genitalia. These individuals prefer to go balls deep. The mere sight of a penis is often enough to whip a Penis Monster into a nob-gobbling frenzy. Usually Penis Monsters are not sexually satisfied until they get some dirt under their fingernails. The opposite of a cock tease, a Penis Monster is a definite cock please.
Guy 1: Oh man!!! Cindy was awsome last night. She was a total Penis Monster.
Guy 2: Just remember Penis Monsters don't love you. They love the pee pee.
Penis Monster by Edwin Wiggins March 1, 2010

penis monger 

A male prostitute.

Etymology - Penis (the male reproductive organ) monger (one who sells something)

The literal definition is "one who sells penis"
When my mom died, my dad became a penis monger.
penis monger by DaMathBoy November 1, 2006