This is an adjectival expression best used to describe people, places, things, moments, and events that are so annoying/stupid/ridiculous/grating that patience diminishes, moods deflate, and the threat of violence increases. Basically, this phrase can be used to describe anything or anyone that grates on your last nerve.
The fact that we are having a departmental meeting to discuss cover sheets and TPS reports really makes my ass hurt.
A phrase the homies use after they're super drunk and all sleep in a bed together, unknowingly having sex.
Homie 1: Yo last night was crazy bro.
Homie 2: Yeah man I barely remember anything.
Homie 3: Yeah we gotta go home now man.
Homie 4: Why are we all sleeping in the same bed?
Homie 2: It doesn't matter bro.
Homie 3: Why does my ass hurt?
Homie 1: It's nothing man.
Homie 1 Had total recollection and was actually the one who had a fivesome with the homies
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
The hypothetical man (often a sinistercharacter who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.