John Mulaney Syndrome
John Mulaney Syndrome by Absolute twat September 25, 2020
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John Mulaney
An Asian, high-waisted, tall child with feminine hips that tries to keep burning the candle at both ends while listening to "What's New Pussycat" on repeat. His life was forever changed when he went, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh," and, "I'm sorry!" Overall, he is the tall, lanky Irishman that got pushed by a homeless, gay, AIDS-full man, looks like his kindergarten portrait with baggy eyes and yellowed teeth, and gets confused with a woman a shit ton.
John Mulaney: I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup - you see in movies - and I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like, "Something, something, police," and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, "FUCK da police! FUCK da police," and everyone else joined in: 100 drunk, white children yelling, "Fuck 'da' police," with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore. You know that, like "I served my nickel! You come and take me!" confidence, but white children.
John Mulaney by MastermindOfTrouble February 29, 2020
John Mulaney
Diner Guest 1: Did you see that little asshole John Mulaney who put Whats New Pussycat on the Jukebox 21 times?
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
John Mulaney by MotharChod June 13, 2018
Mulanne
A very beautiful girl who seems quiet and shy at first but when you get to know her, she's loud and very derpy. She is also doe-eyed cutie who has much to learn and an awesome friend that you take for granted every day until you realise that they are almost gone.
Marlana
A caring woman who's always a source of encouragement to other people. She's experienced everything you have thought about and more. What makes her different then the rest is her self confidence. Marlana is the type of woman you want to show to the world, and wake up next to every morning. Often you'll ask yourself, "How am I worthy to have such a great friend". In the end Marlana is a woman who is an overall 10, and what is more she can cook. If you find a Marlana keep her nurture her and always give her your best. She's wise beyond her years and She'll stick with you till the end and prove to be a loyal companion.