The pucker-inducing condition experienced when you wake up realizing you are incredibly late for some kind of morning appointment i.e. your job, picking up your kids, feeding the homeless, etc. Symptoms include swearing or cursing in sharp, staccato bursts fuck fuck fuck and promising God you will never drink again.
Josh woke up, realized he was an hour late for work and suffered an extreme case of Morning Tourette's that woke up the nun he'd hooked up with the night before.
by geodave December 21, 2013
Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.
Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 6, 2017
by SlopNChop October 7, 2016
Morning shit is a shit that becomes so frequent in your schedule, that it is set aside as part of your morning duties prior to starting the working day.
It's a shit that really signals the start of your working day... in a good way.
It's a shit that really signals the start of your working day... in a good way.
Monday morning ritual
1.) computer on
2.) coffee brewed
3.) emails read
4.) bowels groaning
5.) shit taken
"Oh gotta take my morning shit...right! ready to start the day"
1.) computer on
2.) coffee brewed
3.) emails read
4.) bowels groaning
5.) shit taken
"Oh gotta take my morning shit...right! ready to start the day"
by Wizz Bang February 2, 2012
by TK_ASS March 19, 2013
When you wake up and start deflating after a nice long night of building up gas throughout your digestive system.
"*beepbeep, beepbeep, beepbeep*
*Stretch, yawn, fart, burp*
Looks like I have started my morning deflation"
"Honey can you take your morning deflation to the bathroom?"
"If I don't start my morning deflation soon I might explode"
*Stretch, yawn, fart, burp*
Looks like I have started my morning deflation"
"Honey can you take your morning deflation to the bathroom?"
"If I don't start my morning deflation soon I might explode"
by The_ALCH June 16, 2019
by ant August 5, 2004