stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 3, 2010

Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

by Gordon Freeman November 1, 2004

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Laws of Masterbation

1) you may only jizz on a guy if he is dead or unconscious.

2) You may only jizz on a girl if she is alive and conscious.

3) you may not jizz in front of family members

4) you may not jizz in front of a guy unless both of you are jizzing on the same girl.

feel free to add more.

Dude, you just broke the first and third laws of masterbation by jizzing on your dad!

by anon113618436 January 5, 2010

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Urban masterbation

The activity, or sport, of ejacualting on random people in towns and cities, and then running away.

1) "Oh god, what happened to you?"

2) "Some asshole ejacualted all over me while I was walking home from work"

1) "Ah, he must have been playing urban masterbation"

by originalname1234 September 19, 2012

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