Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

Masterbating Monkey by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004

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Masturbating Monkey

Gay monkey that sits in the zoo cage, shows you its dick and then jacks of to your kidz standin at the window staring at them.

Q: Mummy, what's that monkey doing?
A: Never mind. Now Tonianne get away from that window and lets go to the lion cage now.

Masturbating Monkey by Sarah April 1, 2004

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

Masturbating Monkey by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Stealthie

when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.

This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.

FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"

FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"

Stealthie by gwenhyfar October 2, 2016

Word of the Day on May 25, 2026

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Summer Teeth

When someone has a lot of missing teeth.

Mannn, that dude has summer teeth!
What do you mean?
Summer here, summer there...

Summer Teeth by BeckPot August 2, 2012

Word of the Day on May 24, 2026

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Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

Word of the Day on May 23, 2026

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jerb

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Word of the Day on May 22, 2026

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