All right. This is it. We know most of Swampscott hates us, and vice versa. So this is gonna be fairly unbiased.

Marblhead, MA, is a fairly wealthy town in some spots (i.e. the neck). Others, it's usually just middle class. Marblehead sucks at lots of sports. The rich, annoying demographic of this town has very little to do with their time except drink and have sex. That's just the kids. The adults/parents are usually just as stuck up and annoying and "privliged" as the rest of them. People from Marblehead are overall bad drivers. But, this is only true within the wealthy and some middle class people. The rest are fairly normal citizens which happen to live in an upper-middle class town. The adults are usually ex-hippies or children of ex-hippies who settled down and moved to the suburbs. Therefore, the town is very liberal and kids will often grow their hair long or long-ish. Marblehead has a lot of drugs. Kids in the high school get stoned a lot. There you go.

Ta Da!
Man, I hate Marblehead.
by Bob B. Bobenstein November 7, 2006
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A town in Massachusetts north of Boston. Marblehead can be known for having a good music scene that many kids don't appreciate, good schools, and a culture of kids who talk about how much they hate this town. Most families are wealthy, some are not. Often there is a lot to do for kids but they don't realize it or try looking. But this is the same as pretty much any suburban town across the country. Many kids say they hate living here, even though they know they have it mad easy, but this is because they lack creative thinking skills and are so used to having things handed to them they refuse to take things into their own hands. Other kids figure out things to do and don't complain all the time. But honestly it is a beautiful town and if you can't find anything to do outside you suck.
Kid 1 - There's nothing to do in Marblehead tonight, let's just sit around and complain.

Kid 2 - Well, remember we are all rich and have cars. So let's just find something to do somewhere else...

Kid 1 - That's retarded, I hate this town.

Kid 2 - Ok...
by CRAZYEIGHTSSS October 14, 2009
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Marblehead is a little town on the east coast of Massachusetts. This town is noted as the birthplace of the American Navy, but it is also home to one of the biggest groups of rich, snobby, stuck up, ignorant, dumb ass liberals who get whatever they want. The younger genreation of the town takes what they're priviliged with for granted, and use their $100 a week allowances to buy pot. The jocks and the sluts have wild drinking parties nearly every Friday which eventually turn into orgies. The school system is also bullshit. The students are expected to get perfect grades in everything, and if one obtains lower than the standards, the it's off to community college!

There are several defining gorups that make up the town of Marblehead. For example:

The OCD Gamer: They only go to school because they are required to by Massachusetts law. If they didn't have to, they spend all day palying Xbox Live and fapping to bad hentai.

The Emo-Fag: The ones that wear band shirts, studded belts, and pants so tight that thier feet inflate. They often whine about how bad it is to be an only child in a 3 story, 5 bedroom house with their own souped up electronic collection and a constant source of money. Man, life sucks.

The Jock: The competitive sports athletes who follow one code:
"Party, drink, eat, fuck, repeat." They usually recieve their own sports car for their 16th birthday and listen to nothing but shitty "gansta" rap. I'll remember to tip them after they've filled up my car.

The slut: The girl that talks about a million words per minute, comapre how many times they gave head at summer camp (I think the record is 4), and are the number one consumers of Yaz. Some get good grades, but most of them can't even locate Iraq on a world map. They talk in broken ebonics (yes, it's possible), the length of their skirts matches their IQ, and they wear a good inch of make-up to hide their excessive acne.

So, all in all, don't go to Marblehead. It's a waste of time, money, and you'll just end up unstatisfied. Go somewhere awesome in New England, like Portland, NH, VT, Boston, Springfield, ANYWHERE BUT FUCKING MARBLEHEAD!
Marblehead sucks more than a Dyson.
by TheAngryOne November 10, 2008
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A heinously preppy destination for second homeowners who like to go play sailor during the summer. Marblehead reeks of conformity, money hoarding, bad habits on the land and water, and unemployed wive who suck their banker husbands dry. It's boring as hell, as are most or all of exclusive, wealthy seaside communities in New England.
"Honey, what's the wealthiest, most boring place you can think of within an hour of Boston?"

"Gee, I guess Marblehead."

"Great, that's where I'd us to buy a 1.5 million dollar mansion."

"I think that's a great idea, hon."
by done right August 3, 2013
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Marblehead Is a small town in massachusetts where the culture is based in the students of Marblehead High School getting fucked up. Marblehead has some of the best bud on the east coast, and kids these days have started smoking in 7th grade. If you are over the age of twelve in marblehead you probably know at least three dealers who can get to you at any given moment. Most kids are mole fiends, and plenty kids pop xans or take addies. But its not hard to get along with kids in Marblehead, if you are chill they will be chill to you.
kid 1" I need to get some bacco dude, i'm trying to rip some moles rn!"
Kid 2 "Too bad you have to be 21 in marblehead to buy cigs."
by ranxwer January 10, 2017
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A soldier in the army or army jrotc cadets it came from the chrome dome helmet which looks like a marble cut in half
Salior: look at that marblehead lol
by Modere May 31, 2019
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A town north of Boston, Massachusetts. Pretentious rich yuppies and their pretentious rich children. If you look hard enough there are some down-to-earthers. Extremely liberal. Lots of druggies. Opioids and heroin common. Public schools are good but overcrowded; the middle school doesn't have air conditioning. Summer = rich, tan, blond people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, hanging out on a Grady White, or taking stereotypical white girl pics at Devereaux Beach (it's trash, go to Wingaersheek). Winter = rich, Canada Goose-clad people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, skiing at Sunday River/Sugarbush, or buying bread and milk for the next nor'easter. There are parents jogging around 25/8 as if they don't have jobs. Teens are judgy and privileged. Anyone who does not own Lululemon, Vineyard Vines or Canada Goose is frowned upon. Typical Marblehead family includes father named Mike: lawyer, 6'0". Mother named Sarah: real estate agent, 5'7", dyed blonde hair. Daughter named Grace: 16, dirty-blond hair, wears Lululemon yoga pants 25/8. Son named Jackson: 12, pairs Nike sneakers with khakis, plays Fortnite. Dog named Tucker: Golden Retriever/Doodle, gets a bath every 4 days because Sarah is a neat freak. Drivers are horrendous and are constantly texting or calling. Common cars: Gray Honda Pilot, black Acura MDX, white/gray/black/navy Mercedes GLC, white/black/navy/red Suburban. Sports include football, basketball, lacrosse, field hockey, skiing, sailing, and golf.
Kid 1: "Hey, wanna walk around downtown Marblehead?"
Kid 2: "Sure, as long as we don't get hit by the amazingly bad drivers or get pushed off the nonexistent sidewalks by a cranky jogger."
Kid 1: "You know what, let's stay home and play Fortnite."
by Amber Crowninshield March 22, 2018
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