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The Long Arm of Coincidence 

This is a phrase coined by C Haddon Chambers and it can be taken to mean either :-
1. The broad far-reaching power or influence of coincidence;
or
2. Things just happen;
Note: See also Shit Happens
Why is it that everything Malcolm does turns to rat shit?
That's because it's Malcolm, not even the long arm of coincidence.

One arm as long as the other

Basically turning up somewhere with nothing to give when something is expected. i.e coming to a party empty handed. Irish in origin
Jim: "Dave arrived in late to the wedding yesterday, the clown"

John: "Typical. Did he bring a pressie"

Jim: "Not at all, arrived in with one arm as long as the other"

Long Island Strong Arm 

When two dudes interlock arms (like in a toast of sorts) and jerk themselves (not each other) off. The act is considered neither gay nor cheating.
No bruh. Tom didn't cheat on Cindy. Him and Bobby were totally just Long Island Strong Arming it after the big win in the locker room.

long armed 

woah is me, that sidepiece is so long armed!
long armed by longarmedgorl March 2, 2019
Racial slur for people of color, stemming from African or South American decent.
Those damn long arms and their watermelon I tell you hwhat.
Long arms by Cuntry blmpkn May 17, 2023

Jimmy long arms

An individual who can reach the pillow from across the room from the bed.
Oh, man. We got us Jimmy long arms over here.
Jimmy long arms by MstrNealoth February 4, 2018