A person who might be “book smart” but who at times acts severely challenged in the real world. Often those around a Kolonius
will be amused and confused by their contradictory behavior.
One who serves as a living paradox that “no
one this smart can be that big of a moron”.
A Kolonius might stun those around them with their ability to model complex systems using physics or calculus, and at the same time
will dumbfound spectators when said character tries to open a can of tuna with an umbrella.
A Kolonius
will often concoct elaborate stories having no basis in reality as a sad attempt to cover up for their socially
awkward behavior, such as this ludicrous explanation of a failed pick-up attempt:
“I told her if she came home with me I’d photograph her naked in my basement! Uh, um…but then she had to leave because
Santa Claus flew in on a vacuum cleaner and reminded me I left the oven on”.
A Kolonius
will also multiply any quantity or endeavor to an absurd degree with each re-telling to make stories more sensational, and simultaneously blatantly untrue but hilarious: i.e. “Well I’d had about 43 Gin and Tonics”, or “Oh, that was the week I jogged out to the West Coast”.