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Keyser is a shithole town in West Virginia that has absolutely nothing to do. Keyser is mostly populated by extremely arrogant senior citizens that complain, overuse the bathrooms, and drive entirely too slow on the roads.
Guy 1: Dude, have you been to Keyser lately?

Guy 2: Nah man, that place sucks...nothin to do but old
ladies. I don't play that game, man.
by Keyser Native June 21, 2008
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Keyser ("The K-hole") is a small, shithole town in West Virginia. There's absolutely nothing to do in Keyser except drugs. The population consists of mainly poor family's, drug addicts, drug dealers, rats/snitches, cops, bible thumpers and old people. The youth of the town hate living there and are very antsy to move far, far away from there.

There's no jobs except fast food restaurants and lumber-n-things. The best things in the town is their high school band and the very nice bridge leading out of Keyser into Maryland. Keyser is the birthplace of Jack Rollins who wrote the famous song "Frosty the Snowman" and the famous baseball player John Kruk once resided in Keyser.
Keyser is also known as "The K-hole".
Dude 1: "Did you see all of the people that got indicted for delivery of cds from Keyser?"
Dude 2: "Yeah man, Keyser is full of snitches anymore."
by Nicenugg420 January 12, 2018
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A man that uses keys for anal penetration.
Dave walks into steve's room and see's steve naked with legs in the air pointing to the sky and a big hairy ass staring at him.
Dave: Fuck man stop with the keyser crap, ur making me ill.
Steve: Shut the fuck up bitch, dont knock it till u tried it, help me unlock my ass.
by The Dirty Pajerty July 03, 2011
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Slang for being the most worthless piece of shit imaginable. This type of person couldnโ€™t do less work if they were in a fucking coma. Complains constantly about simple tasks.
That guy hasnโ€™t done shit at work all . All he does is bitch. Man heโ€™s a real Keyser.
by Camo cocked cowboy November 18, 2017
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