intentional food poisoning 

The process of entering a dodgy eatery and deliberately ingesting food that has clearly been contaminated by being spat on, having flies sit on the meat for extended periods of time and being left in a bain-marie for the better part of a week. It would be less painful eating rotten road kill from the center of the desert, infected with Malaria. The specific reason for doing this to yourself, and causing all this pain to oneself, is to simply get out of work. Bosses the world over hear many excuses from their employees, but intentional food poisoning, is the number one cause of "employee away on Monday again" disease. Employees suffering from this illness should be taken from their place of residence and shipped to a small island inhabited by cannibals and eaten so they understand what it feels like to give someone intentional food poisoning.

Not in again today? Intentional food poisoning again is it?
Did you hear about <insert hated workmate name here>? He gave him/herself intentional food poisoning
Intentional food poisoning is the number one cause of diabetes in fat cunts who dont want to work
If you think you have intentional food poisoning, then you should be dragged out and molested by a rabid pack of panthers on heat.

intentional food poisoning by honneamise December 2, 2018