horse doctor 

Someone whose solution to a problem is significantly more harmful than the problem itself. Similar to how in veterinary medicine with horses, the solution for a broken leg or ankle is often euthanasia.

Guy 1: “we ran in to a few minor setbacks on the project, but now Ryan wants to cancel the entire thing!”
Guy 2: “yeahhh, getting that guy involved is always risky. He’s a real horse doctor.”

horse doctor by Telltalehart October 18, 2023

shit house doctor 

Someone who can diagnose any disorder or disease without and medical training.

Oh Christ my stomach hurts.

Let’s contact Billy. He knows what to do. He’s a shit house doctor. Hope he is not out towing a car.

shit house doctor by Milli1338 December 28, 2017

Doctors in the house

When someone is hurt and someone exclaims "Is there a doctor in the house?" And two or more people stand up to answer that call for help, the group of people meet in the corner of another room and play an intense game of rock paper scissors to the death. The lone victor will rush in the room victorious to help the hurt person.

*person has a heart attack*
"Oh my God! Is there a doctor in the house?"
*Four people stand up(the Doctors in the house), look at eachother, and sprint into the other room*
*Two minutes later, only one man rushes in to aid the person having the heart attack*

Doctors in the house by John_Wenusberg November 4, 2013