A person who owns guns, defends gun rights, complains about the media discourse on guns, and generally cares too much about guns to the point that it's creepy. Also applies to people with ridiculously large collections of guns or who subscribe to gun porn magazines. Glocknicks are usually psychos.
See also: gun nut
Person 1: Hey did you hear about that school shooting? How did that 10-year old even get a sniper rifle?
Person 2: Man this is bullshit, now I bet they're going to try to take my 10 year old's sniper rifle away from him. He's got a constitutional right to-
Person 1: Shut up, you glocknick!
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.