The kind of humor and writing prized by millenials who stopped growing up in 2012 and still think they are edgy and relevant.
Normal speak: Can you get some fuel canisters, so I can restart the generator and get our shields back up. I'll mark your map.
Funko pop humor: Heyyy buddy, great job killing all those mutants and all. Youre really good at that! Shooting things, that is. One problemo, though. As it turns out a bunch of the monsters on this planet are gonna rip our eyes out if we dont get the shields back up. And this is just my opinion, but like thats gonna suck. Not having eyes sounds terrible! Like how am I supposed to read my collection of Bodacious Space Babes without eyes?! So heres my brilliant plan i wrote here on this napkin. Theres this generator thing-y. Following me? And it needs GAS! Who knew?? Mayyyybe, you can go out and fetch some cannisters. Then we can get the generator running, and then our shields will be back up, and we won't be viciously murdered! Doesn't that sound great? I know, right? So, since I did most of the work coming up with the plan, I was thinking you do the last step and get the cannisters. If you see monsters, shoot them in the face or something. Oh and one more tip: try not to get killed. That'll put a wrench in this plan - metaphorically, that is. Not literally. I hate people who misuse the term "literally", it drives me FIGURATIVELY insane. Anyway I'll just be here, cowering in my bunker while you go do that, team badass!
Funko pop humor: Heyyy buddy, great job killing all those mutants and all. Youre really good at that! Shooting things, that is. One problemo, though. As it turns out a bunch of the monsters on this planet are gonna rip our eyes out if we dont get the shields back up. And this is just my opinion, but like thats gonna suck. Not having eyes sounds terrible! Like how am I supposed to read my collection of Bodacious Space Babes without eyes?! So heres my brilliant plan i wrote here on this napkin. Theres this generator thing-y. Following me? And it needs GAS! Who knew?? Mayyyybe, you can go out and fetch some cannisters. Then we can get the generator running, and then our shields will be back up, and we won't be viciously murdered! Doesn't that sound great? I know, right? So, since I did most of the work coming up with the plan, I was thinking you do the last step and get the cannisters. If you see monsters, shoot them in the face or something. Oh and one more tip: try not to get killed. That'll put a wrench in this plan - metaphorically, that is. Not literally. I hate people who misuse the term "literally", it drives me FIGURATIVELY insane. Anyway I'll just be here, cowering in my bunker while you go do that, team badass!
by fucczucc September 5, 2023