After a night of sucking in your farts for 6 hours on your first date, the first 30 minutes post-date generate farts that would pique the interest of a seismologist.
M: Dude I just got back from my date and I have a serious case of the first date farts.
"Holy crap"
"What?"
"You know Mike right?"
"Yes"
"Well I told him U of M rules and the Spartans stink."
"Why are you limping?"
"Well um. I got Fist fucked in the fart box, dry. No lube"
"AWE SICK!"...and you let him"
"I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE, he loves the Spartans, he went full psycho."
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. PenguinBooks,1992. p. 38)