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finnius

Finnius comes from the latin term for fondle or to fondle. He is hung like a jackal on heat and can drink more than a thirsty bavarian who has been stuck in a dessert for a year and a half. He looks like the cancerous scrotum of a hunched-over man on a humid afternoon. Finnius' pick-up tactics are sometimes described as Stephen Hawking talking dirty, and as such, he often is successful with high school P.E. teachers. Finnius was not born - he was cultivated from embryonic stem cells to be the perfect human. However, things went horribly wrong during the fourth month of his mother's pregnancy. She suffered a horrific upper cut, crippling her and forcing her to wait out the final trimester in a cave. Finnius spent the first two years of his life in a beaker, subsisting off the shriveled limbs of amputees.

Finnius is a simple man with few luxuries in life bar a subscription to Men's Fitness and a proclivity for whipping it out in public. His is also the proud owner of a safe deposit box stocked with flannel and wood shavings for use during lumberjack role-play. He has few friends, in part due to his tendency to leave passive aggressive post-it notes, but also due to his persistent 30 Rock references. Finnius' dreams include but are not limited to: being the on-tour tap dance choreographer for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers; growing his beard until it intertwines with his pubic hair; breaking the Guinness World Record for longest possible time to repair a moped.
"check out the flaps on that P.E. teacher, i wish finnius was here to see this"
by 8===D---finnmeup June 2, 2014
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Finnish

Someone or something that has relation to or origin from Finland.
Santa Claus, IRC, saunas, Nokia cell phones, ammonium chloride, Nightwish, and other things are Finnish.
by mevyhetal January 8, 2005
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Finnish Line

The finnish line marks the point at which all the alcohol in a household has been drunk and everyone is smashed. "Crossing the finnish line" refers to the act of drinking all that's left in a house through mass partying and drinking games.

The people of Finland (the finnish) are known for being able to hold their liquor and for their mad partying skills. The finnish set the bar high when it comes to hardcore drinking, so reaching the finnish line is truly a badge of honor, particularly if it happens as a result of winning many games of beirut or beer pong in a row.
"After winning seven games of 10-cup beirut in a row, the finnish line was in sight for Mark and Janet. When they won their final game and all the beer was gone, they stepped across the finnish line and had the best drunk sex ever."

"Guy #1: How was the party at Stubby's last night?
Guy #2: Dude, it was amazing, we hit the finnish line.
Guy #1: Woah, how much did you start with?
Guy #2: Let's just say that hockey players from Helsinki would have been jealous.
Guy #1: That's fucked up."
by mgeyer2006 May 11, 2006
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Finnish

The main language of Finland. Finno-Ugric.
One of the hardest and weirdest languages on Earth.
Contains the best swearwords; saatana, helvetti, kyrpä and essentially perkele.
The tone may sound angry and irritated for tourists, but actually Finnish people are quite nice.
Has some really long words, like "epäjärjestelmällisyydessänsäkään" and "metsämarjatäysmehutiivistepurkki". (Sorry, can't translate them, but they really are accurate Finnish words.)
Finnish SSS: Sauna, Sibelius and Sisu ("Suomalainen sisu" = Finnish hardiness)
By the way, there are not any polar bears walking on streets of Finland; actually, there are no polar bears there at all, except in a Finnish zoo called Korkeasaari.
by Finni September 28, 2007
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being Finnish

Sitting around without making a word or a face as did you live in a country of ice and darkness.
-What's up with Pekka tonight?

-I have no idea, he's always being Finnish just after new years
by Svensvensven November 20, 2011
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Finnish card-swipe

when one applies a great helping of tooth paste to the index finger and swipes it down an ass-crack thus creating a sensation of ecstasy and tingling to the user (and often times applier). it was once used for ceremonial purposes to prevent the condition known as "dank ass", but now has devolved into a type of hygienic fetish.
fred pleased his lover, sally, by performing a Finnish card-swipe.
by the-chronic-hygenic March 9, 2011
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Finnish hammer

#1 : a frozen mackerel

#2: those last pumps before you cum inside someone
"I used a Finnish hammer to keep the nails in the wall"

"I totally felt the Finnish hammer last night with Stephanie "
by MikeXse April 2, 2015
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