produced exclusively on remote alaskan islands, fart cheese is one of the rarest foods on the planet. milk is extracted from the breasts of caribou, gently heated over an open flame, then subjected to a barrage of farts offered by the rustic villagers who stand in a circle around the cauldron, relentlessly perfuming the milk. it is believed that the #farticules increase enzymatic activity, resulting in more pronounced flavor and slightly wet texture. the best fartcheeses can be aged upwards of a century. very old fartcheeses may taste of urine, glue and porcini mushrooms, and are said to induce hallucinations and a pleasant tingling in the anus.
by trilliam turdsworth June 24, 2024