Dirty Spatula 

When you blow your load into a "special friends" hand and then take their hand and slap their face with it.

DUDE she gave me the handback last night so I had to finish her off with the dirty spatula

Dirty Spatula by Space Monkey 4 life September 8, 2015

Dirty Spatula 

A "dirty spatula" is when a guy has junk shat upon, and then stomped upon with platform shoes.

It may not be the most profoundly disturbing or even most potentially damaging sexual act ever conceived, but I would not care to be on the receiving end of a "dirty spatula", if you know what I mean.

Dirty Spatula by Mattzog and Kilna January 12, 2009

Better than a dirty spatula

A phrase indicating that an item isn't the best thing in the world, but it's far from the worst thing offered.

"That set of mismatched socks isn't my favorite, but it's still better than a dirty spatula."

Better than a dirty spatula by Wzrdpnda December 11, 2022