damned if you do, damned if you don't 

you're screwed either way.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't join the military during Vietnam. There was a war draft.

damned if you do, damned if you don't by Adrian May 10, 2006

You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

To be caught in a proverbial corner in which you can do or say two things, but either way the outcome is negative.

Your father wants you to take out the trash, and your mother wants you to was the dishes. If you take out the trash, your mother will be upset, and if you do the dishes, your father will be upset. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. by Blikk October 8, 2008

DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't

In other words, it may not exactly be a "stroll on Easy Street" for you no matter what da result of da paternity-test shows --- a prime example would be dat even if said test does indeed prove dat you're not da love-baby's daddy, da test's in-da-thousands-of-dollars cost may be somewhat comparable to what you'd have hadda spend for child-support, anyway.

Good luck on getting a refund for da momentous cost of a paternity-test if said test proves dat indeed you are not da child's biological father (see "pap smear", definition #14); you might be better off to simply start making support-payments; it can definitely be a "DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't" situation!

DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't by QuacksO February 25, 2020