crumb blindness

Crumb blindness is a genetically transmitted condition which expresses itself similarly to haemophillia; both males and females acn be carriers, but it only exhibits itself in males.

Sufferers from crumb blindless are unable to see the mess left in food preparation areas as a result of the hasty assembly of snack foods, especially when this occurs during intervals in televised major sporting events.

The result is a kitchen strewn with torn-open bags and packets, carelessly discarded dirty cutlery, and crumbs everywhere.

When confronted with the "evidence", the sufferer from crumb blindness will profess genuine astonishment, having been completely unaware of the effects of their activity until it is drawn to their attention by their (usually female) partner.

Crumb blindness in females is extremely rare, and the subject of special study; in males, 100% of the population carry the gene, and it is expressed to some extent in over 70% of adult males.

There is no known cure, but single males tend to suffer more than those with long term partners.

"Christ ! Look at this place ! How much mess does it take to make one sandwich ?"

"Sorry, hun.... I just didn't realise......I think I have crumb blindness"

crumb blindness by eighthofseven August 16, 2007

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016